Friday, June 22, 2007

Today’s Topic: Porn

You all suck! I asked for a little help coming up with something to write about, gave you a perfect opening to ask me anything, and all I got was ‘show us your breasts’ and ‘how do women feel about porn?’ What the fuck?!

Well, since none of you are ever going to see my breasts (seriously, let it go dudes), I chose to share my thoughts on porn instead. So let’s have at it.

As some of you know (and some of you don’t – go check it out), this topic came up on onthevirg’s blog yesterday – one of his friends had been caught by his wife/girlfriend…um, ENJOYING porn on the Internet. This led to a discussion (at least in the comments section) on whether this sort of thing bothers women. I jumped right in with my opinion – it’s a fun subject, what can I say – and now I’m following through with more information at virg’s request. (Although I don’t have a poll of my friends handy right this second – sorry.) Still, this is something we have discussed in the past (after all, every man likes porn) – so I’m going to take a go at it anyway.

On the subject of women catching their men surfing porn sites/watching porn: If a woman has any sense of humor/grasp on reality whatsoever (and seriously, run if she doesn’t), she just doesn’t care if you’re watching porn. As long as it’s nothing truly unusual – ie. men, young boys, VERY young girls – chances are she’s going to be unsurprised to hear you’re a viewer, and downright amused if she stumbles upon you in the act. You masturbate, we get it. We masturbate too – get over it. Orgasms are fun.

Now, if you want to know if women like porn themselves…all I can say to that is it really depends on the woman. Almost all of my friends (wait, no, all of them) has had a boyfriend or husband (and yes, we discuss these things with each other), whip out an adult film during sex. Do we get off on it? Some of us, yeah. Do we get offended by it? No, as long as it doesn’t become a necessity EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Scientifically (from what I’ve been told – God knows I’m no scientist), men are more visual than women. That’s why pictures and videos can be more stimulating for them. But that doesn’t mean women don’t like to look. And it doesn’t mean watching other people have sex doesn’t turn us on. I think it just means (generally) we don’t seek it out the way men do. Now if we happen to stumble upon it…

A story: A friend of mine and I were discussing buying new vibrators (agh, I can’t believe I’m telling you this), and we went online to do a little research. Anyway, we happened upon this site called adameve.com that has EVERYTHING sex related. And in the midst of some VERY entertaining conversation (seriously, there’s comedy gold in there if you’re in the right frame of mind), our browsing turned to buying. So we’re getting ready to pay for our…um, toys…and this little window comes up – we had just qualified for free gifts with purchase. Oookay. What were our choices? Well, most of the choices were actually DVDs. Adult DVDs. There were some other options too, but we weren’t really into those. So, long story short I ended up choosing a fine ‘film’ with a title that made me laugh out loud, and my friend chose something with Jenna Jameson in it – mainly because that was someone she’d actually heard of.

Now, the question today becomes: If my film hadn’t been a freebie – if they’d, say, simply offered me a really good deal on it while I was checking out, would I have then purchased it to…ahem, have around just in case I ‘needed’ it? Hmmm…nah, I don’t think so. I mean, I’d spent my entire life up until that point without owning a porno, and I can’t say I missed it.

Why? Well, most porn – for me at least – is more funny than hot. I think I see it like most women do – that is to say, I think too much when I’m watching it (unless I have company). I don’t get lost in the sex and ignore everything else. Often the ‘everything else’ is what I’m most focused on. I mean, I’m sorry but I really do need a story (I’m not even talking about the godawful acting/writing here) – so the films that are just one sex scene after another with nothing holding it together? Way too boring for me. Plus, the clothes are so bad, the women all sound like they’re faking it, and the guys generally don’t do it for me.

Still, having said all that, I truly don’t hate it. It is what it is, and men love it. And that’s great – all the more power to them. (Talk about a safe – and in my mind totally acceptable – way of seeing other women naked.) So to sum up, if you’re wondering whether porn bothers me or my friends, the answer is: Obviously not. I can’t imagine it bothers most modern women. But if you’re wondering if we enjoy it, the answer is: I don’t know. That’s where things get complicated. Honestly it really does depend on the woman; I imagine some women get really into it. Others may simply enjoy it in a very different way than men do.

Either way, all the guys out there who are worried about being ‘found out’ should calm down – women aren’t as easily shocked as you think we are (and we aren’t stupid). So relax and just enjoy yourselves.

And with that, I’m going to stop talking – I think I’ve shared enough for today. Have a great weekend everyone.

Update: It just warms my heart to see that (now) when people google things like 'porn' and 'women fuck women,' my lovely blog comes up.

16 comments:

Bella said...

Thanks for bringing this to light Redhead. You made several good points and oh so true.

Women aren't "shocked" that guys watch this and we know they do.

I prefer to watch it with my husband and occasionally we do, But not ALL the time (it isn't a necessity). Funny though, it's always me turning it on...

TK said...

To be fair, you did spend a couple of posts talking about your breasts. You seem to have a mostly male readership... what did you expect to happen?

Aaaaanyway... your post pretty much falls in line with my experience. Women who have hang-ups about guys watching porn (as long as it isn't constant or creepy) are pretty much trouble.

Here's my next question: what about strip clubs? That's an honest question, by the way. I'm curious what women think about them in general.

onthevirg said...

Sorry, at least I tried to give a suggestion other than just boobs (though I'm guilty there too). Were we supposed to go with a "What was your worst ____," question?

Anyway, good to know that most of you ladies know that we've got some kinda porn collection somewhere and are mostly cool with it.

Redhead said...

bella: Outstanding.

tk: Just because I talk about them doesn't mean I'm going to show them - but don't ever think you guys are legitimately offending me.

My thoughts on strip clubs: Again, this is different for every woman. I personally have NO problem with my man going to one, but I DO NOT allow lap dances. I am the only woman who can touch my boyfriend - if he wants another woman to, that's fine. I won't have any problem finding someone to replace him.

onthevirg: You could ask ANYTHING, that was the point. That doesn't mean I'd answer it, but I was just giving you guys the chance.

onthevirg said...

Damn it, I should have gone for something that would benefit mankind like, "How do you get your lady to agree to a threesome w/ another woman?" See, there's one for a later date.

Redhead said...

That one's easy - she'll agree to a threesome with another woman when you agree to a threesome with another man.

onthevirg said...

Actually, I've already done both (but not w/ the current g/f) so I'm not sure why I said that. I guess I'm not so good at trying to generate a topic for ya. I quit.

Redhead said...

OK, hold on, back up. I want your threesome stories detailed on your blog (the 2 guy one especially) ASAP. (And if you're too embarrassed to share them with everyone, at least send me an email with the info - see, I do like porn.)

Bella said...

email it to me Redhead when you're finished reading it...haha.

onthevirg said...

I'll work on putting those up next week. Pffft...what is this "embarrassed" you speak of?

Redhead said...

Good boy.

Nexus 6 said...

Well, I love porn. Some of it is hot, and some of it is just damn hilarious. I did have an idea (I'm such an entrepreneur) about creating a series of "tasteful" (take that where you may) porn for the intellectual (and that one, too). But, meh, no time.

Sidenote: my husband used to work at a video store back in the day, and when they threw away all the old crappy porn, he would snatch it up. (haha! see, I'm punny.) anyway, now we have this monster collection of old 70s porn on vhs. None of the women have boob jobs, and they all have wiley pubic hair. It is freakin great.

TK said...

"wiley pubic hair"...

Nice.

shudder

Redhead said...

Ewwww.

onthevirg said...

Here's the link to part 1 of the threesome experience.

onthevirg said...

Part Two is up.