Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Question That's Been Asked Before...A Lot

And the reasons why guys say shit like 'I'm really glad I'm here with you' and 'I'll call you,' before you NEVER hear from them again are...?

Oh yeah, I'm back everyone.


John Barleycorn said...

Retardation. Clearly you're hot.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Being unable to think of an alternative that doesn't imply continued contact, yet doesn't sound completely douchey and callous. For one.

Redhead said...

john: You may be my new favorite person.

BB: I get that, but why do people think it's even needed? I mean, are there women out there staring at you waiting to hear 'Let's do this again'? Because I'm pretty sure I've been on dates that haven't ended with that - it was more like 'Thanks, it was nice meeting you.' You know, noncommital. I find the whole 'Let's do this again,' or the more egregious 'I'm glad I'm here with you' in the middle of the date a little...unnecessary and weird if you're not, you know, going to do it again or aren't having fun. Does that make sense?

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Yeah ... I personally try to avoid doing this myself (mostly successfully, I hope), but a lot of people aren't comfortable not saying anything or allowing someone to realize they don't want a second (or whichever) go-round. It's difficult to watch people's faces fall, even if you're doing it for the right reasons.

That said, this sort of thing is not by any means limited to the male species. Girls saying "yes" and flaking or offering "maybe then no" responses guys are supposed to understand mean "no" are super irritating. Dating would be a lot less painful if everyone -- on both sides -- were more direct.

Sarah said...

Do you ever call them? Or is that forbidden? I need to know. I went out with a guy on Thursday and we've had a few texts since, but nothing of substance. Do I give up?

Redhead said...

BB: Yes, I know it goes both ways. I guess my thought process here is it doesn't have to be glaring if you don't say 'Let's do it again.' Hell, half the time I don't even want to hear it. I say just avoid the phrase (or something like it) unless you actually (crazy thought here) mean it.

sarah: The guys may disagree with me here but I say no. You need to know if you have a 'texter' on your hands anyway. By texter I mean a guy who prefers to only communicate that way, because he's too much of a pussy to call. Plus, pride is everything - he has to call you (at least the first time, like after a first date).

MCBias said...

Yay! Welcome back. Be honest, did you spend most of your time in Germany man-gazing? I'm starting to suspect the tall Nordic/Germanic types are a weakness for you, ha.

We've all been there on mysterious disconnects on dates. Sorry.

A real man doesn't say "I'll call you", or "I like being here with you", he shows it and does it first and then says it later when his words are believable. Sounds good, anyway. Unfortunately your man was all talk and no walk. Get another one who means what he says, even if he doesn't compliment as eloquently.

Bruce Paine said...

Because some people don't have a gift for articulating themselves, and cannot develop anything more elegant to say in the given situation, so they revert to something they have heard before that they believe will sound genuine (and maybe enticing) in the current.

This is a topic that is not new, Shakespeare covered it in As You Like It with the character of Jaques (pronounced JAYkiss). All the world is a stage, dear friends, and not all men can speak to women with the aplomb and smooth veracity that Bruce Paine does. He has never used the " I am so glad to be here blah blah blah) line on any woman.

In another note, "texters" are people that I believe have significant control issues. They often feel out of control or lack confidence in life so they text habitually instead of returning calls or calling in the first place because the text message de facto dictates the initiative of communication. Texters are pussies. If you call someone that does not answer but immediately returns a text asking "What do you want?" you must divest yourself of that cumbersome load as wuickly as possible.

Redhead said...

mcb: You are correct, I do love those Nordic/Germanic types. Having said that, I did practically no man-gazing since I was quite honestly working my little ass off while I was away. Plus, I'd thought I had a good guy waiting for me back home. Alas, that does not seem to have been the case. Ah well, I guess it serves me right that the one guy I really liked in long, long while ended up not liking me back. Damn karma.

paine: Okay, you played with the Shakespearean quote a little bit there, but I get what you're saying. I guess we can't all have guys as great as you are, Paine.

Oh, and thanks for backing me up on the texting thing - it's weak.

Bruce Paine said...

I am not that great. When I fart it is so bad that it raises the temperature in rooms. My girlfriend starts sobbing and crying "why did you do that to me?" When I poop, the commode doesn't want to work. I have rough hands and I don't do my chores when it is my turn to do the dishes. I forget birthdays and I don't dress up for anything except funerals. I never notice when my girlfriend gets her haircut. She had to give nearly two feet of do to locks for love before I see any difference.