Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I Have No Idea Why I Found This So Funny

So I’m walking through the subway station yesterday, and I see this couple walking towards me. They’re holding hands, talking – generally unnoticeable. I wouldn’t have even registered their existence if the guy hadn’t suddenly stopped walking, an expression of complete shock on his face. The chick just kept on going.

I don’t know, all of a sudden I was intrigued. What did she say? Obviously it was surprising, since he stopped dead and looked fucking stunned. But the thing was she just kept on going, like she was either a) expecting this reaction from him, or b) didn’t care. Either way…awesome.

So there I was, thinking of all the things she could have said to elicit this reaction. Wondering what she could say in a crowded (it was rush hour) train station that would be that interesting. So I started playing with all the possibilities while I made my way home.

My favorite was she’d just told him she’d slept with his brother. I don’t know why, but that one cracked me up. I mean, how genius would it be to tell him, like it’s no big deal, while holding hands and walking through the subway station? He couldn’t very well kill her there, right? Kind of a smart move to do it in public actually.

Another theory I had was that she had told him she was pregnant. You know, because who needs privacy for a discussion like that, right?

Wow, I could play this game all day. Anyway, those were my top two. Do you guys have any you want to throw out there? The floor is yours.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

10 Things

1) I love the smell of the farmer’s market in Union Square. I walk through it year-round (got to get to work somehow), but in the summertime the smells just go off the charts. Whether it’s the strawberries (mmmm, strawberries) or the basil, it just makes mornings so much more enjoyable. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

2) UFC 100 is this weekend! I’m finding a bar that’s willing to pay the $45 to get the fights, and I’m not budging until it’s over. NONE of my friends want to go with me, so it looks like I’m spending my Saturday night solo. But guess what – I don’t care! The only sad part is my brother is going to be there, in Vegas, because his job actually requires it (my fucking job now officially sucks), and apparently I don’t fit in his suitcase. Not. Fair.

3) Christine was fired again. That makes 3 jobs in the last 4 years. This is getting awkward.

4) So I’m reading GENERATION KILL by Evan Wright – I wanted to read it before I finally got around to watching it (months late) on On Demand. I’ve got to say, it’s ridiculously good. Well written, engrossing, disturbing, just…amazing really. Only now I’m a little nervous about watching the series; I’ve heard good things about it, but there’s no way it’s ever going to live up to the book. Ah well, I’m still excited.

5) Linda got married a week and a half ago – I was a bridesmaid. I wore a killer dress (yay to letting the bridesmaids choose their own dresses). The reception was wayyyyy too much fun. I’ll write more about it soon. Probably.

6) People are gross. So a few days ago it got a little warm in NYC (finally), and I hopped the subway downtown. I get in the subway car and instantly realize that the air conditioning isn’t working, but decide to suck it up rather than go on walkabout to find a better car. Big mistake. The dude sitting across from me, in denim shorts no less – no man should ever wear denim shorts…ever…for any reason – is sweating like a pig. That’s gross enough. But then, he pulls out a tissue and starts WIPING HIS HAIRY LEGS WITH IT! I guess he was trying to cool off/mop up the sweat. But either way…ewwwww. I have no words. I still feel a little nauseous when I think about it. People, when you are on the subway you are in public! We can see you! Stop with the weird crap!

7) So after a long winter of being a lazy shit I finally started working out again. My ass is grateful. The rest of me fucking hates it.

8) I’ve decided that I’m sick of meeting men in bars, and the blind dates my friends have been setting me up on lately have been…bad. Any suggestions (NOT on good ways to meet men? I refuse to date anyone I work with, and I’m running out of options here.

9) I have a new word that I’ve been using a lot lately, and I’m more than willing to admit I have no clue what it means. My new word is: jiggity.

10) And the big news – my parents got a new dog! We’re so excited to have her in the family (we got her from Boxer Rescue and she’s…SO fab), and I am completely, 100% in love. Here she is:

Ridiculously cute, right?

That’s it for now. I think I might post again in the next few days. Hey, it could happen!