Monday, February 16, 2009

2 Years - Time Sure Does Fly By When You're Not Posting!

(Note: I was going to post this on Saturday, but then I forgot – kind of a theme around here actually.)

So I’m not going to apologize, I’m not going to offer up lengthy explanations, and I’m not going to feel guilty – I’ve been taking a break from the blog, people! However, I had to come back to celebrate the 2 year anniversary of said blog (even though, yes, my upkeep for the last 6 months has been shitty at best - and I missed the anniversary...oops). Still, if there’s anyone who still comes here…some thoughts:

Hmmm, when was the last time we spoke? Fuck, a lot has happened since then. I’ve dated and broken up with at least 2 guys – one I dated specifically because he had a really cute dog…hey, there are worse reasons to date a guy. I’m writing a book which is taking up a lot of my writing/blogging time. I’m looking to buy an apartment which is taking up a lot of my sanity (godDAMN that’s a lot of money to just fork over all at once!). Work is nuts, but at least I’m still being paid to do it (which is more than a lot of my friends can say right now). And I took some time out to discover the meaning of life (but I’m not telling you what it is – that would be cheating).

Other than that, what else has been up? Oh, I finally got around to meeting one of you nutjobs – something I swore I’d never do – so, mcbias, take a bow. Hmmm…what else…?

(Another note: Please keep in mind that I was going to post this on Saturday, so just pretend that it’s Valentine’s Day while reading – it was kind of the theme of the post and I don’t feel like rewriting everything.)

-Actually, since I didn’t post on Saturday I will give you a quick rundown of my V-Day:
Tried to go see He’s Just Not That Into You with Christine (we figured let’s just embrace our singleness), but when we got to the theater it was sold out! I hate being unoriginal.
Since we couldn’t see our movie of choice, we hit up the pub near my apartment at the ripe old hour of 7:30pm instead.
We left the pub around 2am.
Yes, I was hung over the next day.
Surprisingly I met a guy at Saturday night – something I would have bet money against doing on V-Day.
Said guy then called on Sunday (I have no memory of giving him my number), and we’re going out this week. I’ll let you know if it’s true love, otherwise you’ll probably never hear me mention him again.

-In the immortal words of my Wild Words from Wild Women daily calendar:
If you open your heart up and let all the love you have flow out of you, I promise that some highly dysfunctional, emotionally unavailable man will glom himself onto you and never let go.
-Wendy Kamenoff


-For all the ladies out there, a little relationship advice this fine Valentine’s Day. (Obviously not from me – I don’t know the first thing about relationships.) Anyway, here you go.

-My breakfast this morning consisted of black coffee, one of those Starbucks Double Shot espresso drinks, and a Red Bull. Help, I think I may have a problem.

-Creepy Web site I wish I’d never discovered (I need to stop giving into peer pressure): Facebook. Yes, Facebook creeps me out. I was pressured into joining, refuse to ‘friend’ anyone myself, and only go on to accept friend requests every two weeks or so. Still, what is with all the randoms out there that find you?! I kind of want to say to people ‘Um, I think we lost touch for a reason.’ But that would be mean, right?

-Worst Valentine’s Day: The time my boyfriend told me he’d rather hang out with his friends than spend the evening with me. Yup, I can really pick ‘em!

-Nice little bit of erotica to get you through a cold V-Day all alone: Cooking Up a Storm by Emma Holly. No one in this book even has a fleeting grasp of what monogamy means. It’s amazing how something that would piss me off in reality still turns me on in…bookity. (OK, so that word doesn’t exist, but I didn’t want to say ‘fantasy’ or ‘theory’ since those words weren’t quite right – sue me.)

-In honor of Valentine’s Day, I want to know what everyone’s most embarrassing sexual moment was. For me it was the time I was…um…let’s just say ‘pleasuring’ a boyfriend, and he fell asleep. Nothing fucks with your ego quite like that. So thanks Ex-Boyfriend! And no, I STILL don’t buy that it was because you’d had too much to drink, JACKASS!

Anyway, anyone have any good stories that could compete?


Big Daddy said...

I remember once accusing you of only posting a couple times a month. Now it looks like once every couple of months. Oh well - good to have you back. See you again April 16th.

Redhead said...

Smartass. I was taking a break! How hard is it for my readers to comprehend that I have commitment issues?

Alex said...

The one thing I'd say in defense of Facebook is that it's a useful communications hub. It's easy to send a short dumb comment, a longer email, or have a chat, all in one place. For an anti-social jerk like me, anything that makes it easier to seem like I care is a win.

To congratulate you on your two years of posting, I won't share any of my boring sex stories.

Redhead said...

Yeah, I don't need a communications hub - if I want to chat I prefer to do it with people I would give my phone number to.

Ah, so I'm the only one who gets to share embarrassing stories around here? Fine - hey, at least you took the time to leave a comment (I now like you and Big Daddy the best).

toadely said...

Think THAT'S embarrassing? Try being ,,, uh ,,, pleasured and have the one ,,, uh ,,, pleasuring you fall asleep! That'll do your ego in. OUCH!!!

Thanks for getting back to posting again. Even though I don't comment much, I still read.

MCBias said...

(bows) It was my pleasure, and a good time. I won't at all use this as bragging rights over the rest of the commenters, especially Bruce Paine. Oops, already did.

I spent Valentine's Day watching sports and eating--tried to turn it into guys day and flee any place where couples would be hanging out. It worked pretty well, sounds like you tried to do something similar.

Ok, we definitely need to hear about your book at some point. Or at least make something up about it. And Facebook's only creepy if you're not a stalker, you're doing it wrong...err, yes, you're absolutely right, it's a plague on humanity.

Redhead said...

toadely: That's not embarrassing for you, the pleasuree - that's embarrassing soley for the pleasurer. I mean wow, to be so bad that you put yourself to sleep? (On a side note, I hope you kicked that dude's ass for leaving you hanging like that.)

mcb: Don't go admitting you're a stalker AFTER I've met with you - that's a before we meet kind of admission (full disclosure and all that).

Bruce Paine said...

My freshman year of college I lived in a dorm with a buddy of mine from high school. He was a year ahead of me and had stayed int eh same dorm the previous year and had a group of people he associated with that weren't from our hometown. They weren't bad people, they just didn't know me well enough to not take advantage of me.

One night we hosted a party with some other friends and there beer, pretty good weed, and a little bit of acid. Nothing serious and things were pretty low key. I had imbibed a touch and maybe smoked a little and was tired from the day and I suppose I may have passed out.

I woke up the next morning in our dorm room the better part of nekkid. I had no idea how I had gotten there but one detail stood out: my buddy's video camera was plugged into our VCR (this was the 90's). I immediately grew suspicious.

I called the apartment where we had our party and my roommate answered.

"Hey, John, how the Hell did I get back last night?" I asked with mild interest.

"You walked."

"Who left after I did?"

"Jane and Courtney," he answered innocently.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"They are coming over here for breakfast."

I took the video camera and rewound the tape inside it. What I found was about 90 minutes of these two young ladies taking advantage of me after I had passed out in my dorm room. Then, to capitalize on their efforts, they had copied the tape to VHS and were evidently on their way to breakfast.

I pulled on some clothes and ran out of the dorm like a shitstorm hurricane. After sprinting three blocks and kicking open a door I stormed into a room of twenty people. Guess what they were doing?

Bruce Paine said...

Brag all you want MCBias, I rest assured that after 6 years of passion, my woman still can't catch her breath to scream my name. Let me tell you, she tries ;)

I am also assuming that to visit Redhead you had to go to New York. I afraid that dumb old country boys like me don't know how to explain themselves in that sort of environment.

Redhead said...

Paine 1: Finally, SOMEONE besides toadely has the balls to share a story - and no Alex, yours doesn't count since you emailed it to me and didn't share it with the rest of the crew here. Still Paine, that doesn't sound like an embarrassing story; you were passed out and two chicks molested you. Shit happens in college.

Paine 2: I have no idea how your self-confessed (and therefore suspect) prowess has anything to do with my meeting mcbias. Mcb can back me up here - we did nothing that that would make either of us scream.

As for meeting me, you have to do more than just end up in NYC big boy.

MCBias said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Redhead said...

mcb: No one here could have possibly needed that much information.

I hugged you? (Wow, I must have downed more cold medicine than I though that night - I am REALLY not a hugger.)

Bruce Paine said...

I apologize. I did not intend to posit that any shenanigans had taken place, only asserting that my entwinement with my little lady is satisfying enough to prevent me from being jealous of any man meeting you socially.

And I was embarrassed because there were a lot of people who were allowed to me naked and I had to spend the next month hearing people repeat the films tag line:

"Oh my God I think he shaves his balls!"