Friday, November 20, 2009

Stop the Morons

Not to make this blog all about my dog, but I really feel like this next story sums me up very, very well.

So my mother was at the dog park the other day with The Dog, and a woman came up to them as they were entering. Now my mother and The Dog are regulars at the park - this is mainly because The Dog has ants in her pants, and she needs at least 2 hours a day of running to keep her from destroying the house - so chances are good this woman had seen them there before. So this woman comes up to my mother and asks – I shit you not – “Do you think The Dog is embarrassed about the way she looks?”

Some background info: The Dog is a rescue. She was born with a fused vertebrae in her spine and couldn’t walk for the first few months of her life. After many surgeries and physical therapy (with horses…in a pool!), she now moves around like a champ – she hops her back legs rather than walking ‘normally,’ she has no tail, and yeah, her hips look a little different. But she’s fucking fine people! She’s happy, we love her to death, and she was absolutely our first choice when we were looking for a dog. She is hands down the most good-natured dog you’ll ever meet.

Oh, and the quickest way to piss me off is to look at her with pity in your eyes. What the fuck are you looking at ASSHOLE?!

Back to the story. So Stupid Woman has gone up to my mother and asked her if The Dog – a fucking DOG – is embarrassed by the way she looks. What kind of stupidity is that? My comment, when my mother told me the story, was, “I hope you responded by saying, ‘No, are you embarrassed by the way you look, Fatty?’”

Sadly, my mother did not say that. And when I retold the story (complete with my suggested response) to my boss – my BOSS – yesterday, she just looked at me, shook her head, and said, “You really shouldn’t be allowed out in public sometimes. You know that, right?”

In all fairness, my boss had to drag me away from a cop that I was yelling at last week (long story). Still, is it my fault I can’t stand stupid, ignorant jackasses? My motto in life: Stop the morons.


*~Dani~* said...

My response would have been similar to yours. WTF? People are moronic for sure!

Alex said...

If you were to run for public office under that motto, you would have my vote.

MCBias said...

Suggesting that dogs should have appearance complexes is the epitome of being shallow. That said--why were you yelling at a cop?! You know you have to tell this story too!

Bruce Paine said...

Fuck cops, they don't know any better. I have seen Serpico.

I see a lot of people get rescues that have developmental problems or mutations or defects and, as somebody who grew up on a farm and around the world of animal genetics, it has always astounded me the level that folks are willing to go to save a dog. Until recently, if a reputable breeder had a ... lets call them a "less than sound" animal in a litter, euthanasia was generally the next step. you simply don't want that animal in the gene pool or the reputation of producing them. I have seen more often, now, that folks are willing to take on pets that require a significant amount of repair, either from injury or mutation. My old bosses wife spent 56 grand on a bulldog that was born with mutations in its hips and GI tract. All of these things astound me, BUT they do not grant license to acost someone on the appearance of their pet in a fucking dog park. How fucking pretentious do you have to be? Of course, the psychology of this situation is a bit different. The woman was ACTUALLY asking if your mom was embarassed by the way the dog looked (I presume), and is therefor an obnoxiously passive aggressive behavior and this woman should be held in contempt of the court of decent folk.

Redhead said...

Dani: Exactly, yet somehow people think WE'RE the irrational ones.

Alex: Wouldn't work - the vast majority of people out there are morons; they wouldn't get it.

mcb: I'm not telling the cop story. Suffice it to say, I felt they were being dickheads and decided to share my opinion with them.

paine: Ah, yet another reason why I couldn't survive on a farm. Actually, The Dog's 'breeder' - I use that term very loosely - apparently felt she wasn't worthwhile either; she was found in a dumpster where he'd thrown the "less than sound" puppy. (I hate people.) We beg to differ, and as my parents said, 'We certainly have the money afford her, and she's earned the good life.' So yeah Paine, while spending 56 grand on a dog (when you have it to spend) may astound you, it makes absolute sense to me. Let's just agree to disagree.

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