Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Am I Too Judgmental?

So I’m on the subway this morning, and there’s this delicious guy standing near me – tall, blond, beautifully dressed, the works. And as we’re making eyes at each other, I realize something…he has popped the collar of his camel hair coat. I found myself distracted by this. Just how large of a douche does a guy have to be to try to pull this off? To me the popped collar, on a perfectly fitted camel hair coat no less, was like an 8 out of 10 on the douche scale. So when he caught my eye again and smiled, I looked away. Too harsh?

Let me say this about the popped collar – not only is it a throwback to the ‘80s, John Hughes, rich/bad-boy douchiness of yore, but it looks stupid! What? Are you protecting the back of your neck from the wind? (Note: Subway Guy was wearing a scarf, so that excuse doesn’t fly.)

Not surprisingly, I found myself unable to overlook the fashion faux pas. Another fashion faux pas I found distracting this week – Jake’s turtleneck on The Bachelor. When did men start wearing turtlenecks again? And can they please stop? I find it difficult to take a man in a turtleneck seriously. (I find it difficult to take a man – or woman – on The Bachelor seriously anyway, but I digress.)

Actually, this feels like something I should address – yes, I’m watching The Bachelor this season. Now most people who know me are aware that I don’t watch much reality TV (I find it uncomfortable and embarrassing for me to watch), but this year…I got sucked in. I was babysitting my nephews a few weeks ago, and after I put them to bed I found myself flipping through like 700 TV channels and finding nothing on. Eventually I gave up and settled in to watch the first episode of The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love (no, I’m not joking – that’s the title of the show). It was horrifying – I kept covering my eyes it was so awkward at times – and yet ever since I’ve been tuning in to see what happens next. I don't know, I guess I care which woman with painfully low self-esteem the bachelor will end up with. Or I'm just really bored on Monday nights. Feel free to make fun of me, I won’t fight you.

Anyway yeah, popped collars and men in turtlenecks – deal breakers? Am I being too judgmental? Or am I actually not going far enough? Maybe I’m forgetting about some even more egregious offenses. Hit me up in the comments to let me know your thoughts.


Bruce Paine said...

No, you are not too judgmental. If there is one thing the modern American male needs it is judgment. How comfortable do you reckon this creature to be if he has bent to such momentary trending. Something I have always believed and had circumstance prove to me is that people, men in particular, who bend to fads and fashion have very thin characters and constitutions. Weak, frail creatures who have not built a world for themselves but rather stepped into a world someone else stipulated as appropriate. What sense of self, what animus could he have been operating under? None, only a trivial self-consciousness centered on the meticulous warmth of conformity's chains allow him to relax and experience and interact with the worlds of others. I am certain that, after a surprisingly brief period of time, this man would have disappointed you sexually.

Cobra said...

I firmly believe that the redhead that Deadspin is stalking wouldn't be getting a second look if she were a brunette. Go ahead and give us your best "i'm pushed to the side because i'm a redhead' story. I've seen this phenomenon in action, it's quite ridiculous.

There are times when a scarf doesn't provide the coverage that I'm looking for so a 'collar pop' is necessary. It hurts to do but sometimes it has to be done, although only momentarily.

Cobra said...

Sorry, that should have said, "treated differently because I'm a redhead" story. Could be good/bad.

I apologize for the initial mistake.

オテモヤン said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MCBias said...

Any Oscar commentary? And do we get another year off from any mention of the Yankees in your posts, since they won last year when you were fairly quiet? (crosses fingers).

toadely said...

I dunno. This one could go either way. I'm hoping against hope that anyone with enough style to wear a nice, camel hair coat wouldn't slip into douchebag territory and pop the collar, that actually, he had taken his scarf off at some point and the collar popped and he didn't know it. It's happened to me. Then again, he could just be a royal douche.

The turtleneck depends on context. If it's late fall and you're in a casual setting, jeans and a thin turtleneck under a button down or fleece is perfectly acceptable. But, I've never dressed to impress anyone, so what do I know.