Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Surprisingly Easy

Okay, signing up for a blog was shockingly easy - I mean, I was able to do it. So now I guess I'm supposed to start talking about myself and my thoughts and assume other people will care. Well, considering that I'm sitting at work right now (and clearly not working), I'm going to keep this short until I can think of something to say.

But in an effort to help people out there get to know me - not too well though - let me tell a little story. Hmmm...what can I offer the Internet gods? Alright, this is a true story (a little something to help you get to know me):

Let's go back to college shall we? Now, I decided to go to school pretty far away from home - to push myself to try new things. (I'd grown up on the East Coast, went to a small private school my whole life, was basically a good kid, but I was sheltered as shit.) Plus, if you can't try something new at 18, when can you try it? So I packed up all of my stuff and traveled halfway across the country to attend a huge state school in the middle of nowhere where I didn't know a soul. (Lucky for me I'm a girl and I'm pretty, so it didn't take long to make friends and get invited places.)

I was finally able to let loose. I drank, I met guys, and I did...other things - we don't know each other well enough to talk about those yet. It wasn't that hard to meet people - guys in my dorm were rushing fraternities and they dragged along whatever girls they could find to make them look cool (we were always welcomed with open arms by the frat boys). And some people started popping up over and over again.

One group in particular kind of became my gang in the beginning: A guy - let's call him Tim, another guy - let's call him Todd, and Todd's girlfriend - let's call her Stacy. Stacy was a bartender at a nearby bar that was pretty lax when it came to legit IDs (score), and in my second week at school she got me hammered on a drink she called a Stacy Special. Essentially it was about 80% alcohol and served in a huge water glass - I had three of them - and from that point on I was a big Stacy fan. She was cool. Her boyfriend Todd was hot (but as her boyfriend he was off-limits), and Tim was the one who got us into a lot of house parties. It was a good group.

Anyway, that was all a lead-in to The Party. The Party started out as just a regular frat party that took place about a month into school. (Note: Remember, I was still young, innocent - relatively speaking, and stupid at this point in my life.) So, there I was at The Party drinking, along with Todd, Tim, and Stacy. I had had a lot to drink. And yes, I was dancing with Todd. Yes, I was flirting with Todd. But in my defense Stacy was nowhere to be found at that point. Shit, that's not a good defense at all - okay, never mind. *Clearing throat* Then, after many more hours and many more drinks, I (somehow) found myself making out with Todd.

Shut up.

Amazingly (really, it was impressive - I'd had a lot to drink) I pulled myself together long enough to remind Todd (in between kisses) that he had a girlfriend (yes, I'm a saint). And this is where things got a little weird - Todd didn't pull away. Instead he just shook his head and told me "It's cool. She wants this too."

I gave him a skeptical look but let him continue to kiss me anyway (what can I say, he WAS cute). If he wanted to use some lame excuse for his actions, I wasn't going to stop him (although YES, I should have). But THEN, he proceeded to invite me back to his apartment. His AND Stacy's apartment. Um...what?

"Stacy's back there waiting for us," he told me in between kisses. Huh? And then the lightbulb went on in my head (better late than never). Todd wasn't hitting on me behind his girlfriend's back. He was hitting on me for his girlfriend. And I...totally wasn't ready for that. I mean...WHAT?!? Was this seriously what college was like?! Did everyone do this shit? Because I DID NOT want to do that. If that was what people did at these big party schools, I was going to have to go home with my tail between my legs and attend one of those Ivy League schools everyone had wanted me to go to all along. Shit!

But I kept my calm (outwardly at least) and politely turned Todd down. He took it well (he was used to it - I later learned that he and Stacy tried this sort of thing occassionally). I, on the other hand, numbly turned and walked out of the party, kind of feeling like I was going to be sick actually.

I then went and found myself a nice, safe, midwestern boy to date (literally, I found him on the way out of The Party - I walked by him, grabbed his shirt, and told him he was walking me home). And, like a FUCKING MORON, stayed with him for the NEXT THREE YEARS. I mean, this guy was fine for the first 6 months or so, but after that I'm pretty sure I just stayed with him out of laziness. And while I don't regret dating him, I do regret staying with him so long - all those college years, wasted.

And I blame Todd and Stacy. Let me be clear, I don't blame them for the invitation - hey, it was worth a shot on their part. (Side note: Todd and Stacy are married with kids now. Yeah.) But I blame them on their timing. I mean, while I wouldn't say yes to the invitation now either, it wouldn't freak me out. Back then? It freaked me out. And in my wimp out, I overreacted and tied myself to a guy I didn't like (because of a fear of what else was out there).

(Note: It's occurring to me that I'm sounding like college sucked/scared me - totally not true. College was awesome. Even with a steady boyfriend cramping my style, I still had A LOT of fun.)

So while I'm no longer a scared little girl like I was back then, I still consider Todd and Stacy a turning point in my life. And that's why I'm sharing them with you. you enjoyed...more stories to come...yup.

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