Friday, February 15, 2008

A Post Valentine’s Look Back

Yeah, I’m actually not that into Valentine’s Day – I learned through trial and error long ago that it’s never going to live up to expectations (whether you’re in a relationship or not), so it’s not even worth trying. Hence, I make a conscious effort to do nothing on the 14th of February.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of setting aside one day a year simply to remind people to say ‘I love you’ is actually kind of nice, but let’s also be very clear here: Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday that generally pisses more people off than it makes happy. And this is coming from someone who got chocolates AND cupcakes yesterday. (Sidenote: Sweets are so much better than flowers.)

But I digress, this post is really just about a nice little look back at two of my more memorable Valentine’s Days – one good and one bad – to a) show that I’ve seen this “holiday” from all sides, and hopefully explain why I now choose to spend it alone (even when I’m in a relationship); yes I’m weird, and b) give yet another example of my hideous taste in men and hopefully entertain you people.

The Good:
I was dating this guy years ago – he was fine, a little flaky but overall a nice guy – and lo and behold, Valentine’s Day rolled around about 4 months into our relationship. Mr. Flaky, being….um, flaky I guess, sort of blanked on it. And this was way back when I still had certain Valentine’s Day expectations. Essentially what happened was I showed up at his apartment (no, he didn’t come to me, that would have been too thoughtful), only to be greeted with ‘I uh, didn’t make any reservations anywhere. And my roommate just told me we wouldn’t be able to just show up someplace. Sooo, uh…what do you want to do?’

Fucking moron.

Anyway, since I couldn’t very well call him a moron to his face (no, even I’m not that mean), I instead tried to remain positive while looking around for flowers, candy, something, ANYTHING. But (as I’m sure you already realize) there was nothing like that around. Still, I didn’t give up (ah, to be young and stupid again – oh fuck it, I might as well admit that the guy was really cute and that counted for more than it should have back then …I was only human!).

I instead went and took a seat on his couch and watched him take bong hits while he struggled to ‘think’ of something for us to do on Valentine’s Day.

Finally, after about 2 hours of this, we just piled into his car and went for a drive. At some point we got hungry and stopped at a diner. In the middle of nowhere (seriously, we had driven for a while and were far from home). And that’s when it happened – we sat down in this little Mom & Pop diner, late at night on Valentine’s Day, and actually looked around. And we found that we were surrounded by these little old couples, from this small town, and everyone looked so…in love. And they were at a DINER. (Yes, I’m a snob, but I swear I have a point.) The point was, they were at this diner – probably the only restaurant in this small town – and they didn’t care. They didn’t care where they were, they only cared who they were with. And somehow, even though I had always known what was important and what wasn’t, it really hit home that night. Because they were right. This little diner was romantic for that one night. And as cheesy as it sounds now, I still get a little mushy inside thinking about it. So shut up and back off.

Anyway, long story short Mr. Flaky and I ended up having a great night. Once we walked into the diner it was like we both exhaled, relaxed, and actually took the time to enjoy each other’s company. To this day that’s my favorite Valentine’s memory.

The next year Mr. Flaky and I were still together (I know, I know), and he pulled out all the stops getting me 2 dozen roses, chocolates, dinner reservations, etc. And honestly, the day kind of sucked. We broke up shortly afterward. So you see, it’s not the STUFF that counts, it’s the person. (Now I just need to find one that’s worthwhile.)

The Bad:
This story doesn’t even deserve a good set-up. Suffice it to say I once dated a guy who had the nerve to ask me, on the night of Valentine’s Day, if he could blow off our plans to spend the night hanging with his buddies. Not to get too into my reaction, but let’s just say it wasn’t good. And this guy didn’t end up spending the night with his buddies. Nor did he spend it with me in my bed. Or with me at a restaurant. No, he spent it sitting in the hallway outside my apartment groveling.

The groveling didn’t work.

So those are my Valentine’s stories, is it any wonder that I choose to simply take all the pressure off and avoid the holiday now? But what about you guys? Does anyone have any of their own stories that are better (or worse). I gave The Good and The Bad – who has The Ugly?


One More Dying Quail said...

I think this happened on Valentine's Day - when I was in high school, my "girlfriend" and I were supposed to go see Titanic together. Long story short, I worked early that day on no sleep, crashed as soon as I got home, and didn't wake up until the next day. That relationship didn't really work out.

When I met my wife, she told me that she hated Valentine's Day because the year before, her boyfriend had blown off plans with her to screw her roommate. Not a good time. So, even though I was in college and had no money, I put together a little candlelight dinner in my dorm room (I think our table was an upside-down laundry basket). Nothing fancy, but it was a nice night.

rs27 said...

I really thought the good was going to be the bad story and vice versa.

I is stupid.

Redhead said...

omdq: Wow...your wife's story of the boyfriend screwing the roommate is hands down the Ugly Story. You're a good man to try to make her next Valentine's a nice one.

rs27: Dude, I LABELED the good story and the bad story!

mcbias said...

Last night, I noticed a car was stuck in the snow in a parking lot I pulled into. I decided to stop and help them...turns out it was these two pretty women my age, and they were trying to dig the tires out with a little ice scraper. All of a sudden I realized--is this a dream setup or what? Two pretty women, together on Valentine's Day, needing help for their car to be pushed out of the worst, I get to help two women in need, at best, I may walk off with some digits. My luck is finally turning around and...wait, what's that? All of a sudden a truck with 4-wheel drive pulls up. This pudgy guy with badly dyed hair, on a date with his girl, offers to push them out with his truck. He does that in two seconds, and I'm left looking silly. I say good night, and they drive off. So in other words, man already with a date gets to look kind and without a date trudges in the snow back to his car, feeling inept. I think it's funny now--it's not every day one gets outwitted by a truck as a romantic rival--but I certainly didn't think it was funny as I was walking back to my car!

onthevirg said...

Cause nothing says romance like doing bong rips and getting stoned out of your mind. How did you not marry that guy?!

TK said...

Hell, for V-Day yesterday the wife and I went to lovely Indian restaurant, then played Rock Band until 1:30 in the morning.

It was actually really nice.

Anonymous said...

Did we date some time ago that I am not aware of? Pulling bong hits on Valentine's Day sounds vaguely familiar.

The secretary in my wife's office asked how she got me to send her such nice flowers yesterday.

"I've been training him for 8 years. He'd better send me fucking flowers."

Bruce Paine said...

Valentines Day really is crap. Still, my lady received fun things at her home in the frozen north and a call from her boyfriend and such. When you have been together for a while Valentines day tends to require more sense of humor and less over the top romance o keep it interesting IMO. Then, to assuage my loneliness, I went over to a buddies house and burned some remarkably nice hydroponic stuff that put me right to sleep. Lovely day on the whole. What is it about Valentines Days and herb? hmm...

Bean said...

Hello....stumbled upon your blog one day and have been catching up since!

Valentine's Day just has too many expectations whether you're tied down or not.

My first experience was with my first boyfriend. He was literally digging in the seats of his car to find enough change for us to see "Cruel Intentions." Afterwards, he yelled at me for not giving him a bj. Hands down the worst Valentine's of my life!

Redhead said...

mcb: Aw, poor baby. But as they say, 'he who hesitates...'

virg: Don't even pretend to be surprised - I also once dated a guy who cheated on me with a stripper, and then after we broke up MARRIED that, I really do have horrifying taste in men.

tk: Well woop de do for you. (No, I'm NOT bitter.)

harry: I think I like your wife. Oh, and if you're a 6'2 blonde dude from the midwest, then yes that WAS you - thanks for nothing dude.

paine: See, I liked you until you threw in the 'IMO' - am I the only person who hates all that shit? IMO, LOL, LMAO...ugh.

bean: Welcome to the party! Now...he yelled at you for not giving him a bj? Seriously? I can honestly say I've never dated a guy who was brave enough to try saying that to me...but then again every guy I dated valued his balls enough not to be that stupid. Still, GREAT story. I hope you made a point of telling him he was bad in bed the next time you had sex with him.

Bruce Paine said...

OMG, YUB, you city folk built this horrible internet thing and...wait, BRB. AFK. BAK. Okay, and you built this thing and us poor, uneducated, country folk CHI if some of the crap that came along with it trickles into our lives. FYI, I hate the internet, all it has done is drag more pornography into my life and taken me away from my books. IOW, it brought me to you. (You really should up the porn content BTW) KWIM? Us hillbillies would have just gone on with our lives but somebody sold us the damn internet and, its FYA. IAC, I gotta go be dumb. CUL, G2G, KIT

ThirtySomething Kat said...

I blogged about my Valentines Day - it wasn't good. But, your post made me think back to others...when I was actually with someone and most were pretty decent except for this one and the one with the guy who became my ex-husband. What fucking clueless men don't know that this is a big day for new relationships??? You're right though - it ISN'T about the me it's about being thought of. I wasn't - therefore my day sucked. Booooooooooooooo

Bean said...

Oh it gets better....we hadn't even had sex yet. So why he thought that would suddenly get me to do anything was beyond me! Let's just say he was gone by Easter!

Jack Cobra said...

There used to be this blog here that like, updated fairly frequently.....what happened to that?