Friday, February 1, 2008

Why Do These Need Titles?

I have so much I want to talk to you guys about, but I’m having a whole catch-22 problem here – if I didn’t have a job or friends I would totally have the time to write posts for you (possibly even in a semi-coherent way), but if I didn’t have the aforementioned job and friends, I probably wouldn’t have anything interesting to say. Alas, life’s not fair.

So I just had a hugely awkward moment – I’m in the office kitchen buying a Milky Way from the vending machine (what, chocolate’s good for you!), when this dude comes in, takes one look at me, and says ‘Hi, I’m M! I feel like I see you every day and I thought I’d finally introduce myself.’ Now picture me, smiling and nodding my head at him while I give him my name, and all the while I’m thinking…? If you guessed ‘This guy doesn’t even look remotely familiar to me…am I too young to be going senile?’ you are eligible to win…nothing at all except maybe my respect!

Ooh, quick survey question (for the purposes of this survey imagine yourself a redhead): If a person of the opposite sex approached you in a bar, and asked you (almost immediately) if you were a natural redhead (no small talk had even taken place at this point), would you be offended? I mean, is there ANY way you’re not being asked if everything…matches? Ugh – men.

I’m currently planning my trip to Italy (did I mention I’m going to Italy for 2 weeks this spring?). Anyway, I’m currently planning my trip and I’m already losing my mind – has anyone here ever been to Bologna/Florence/Venice? If you have, feel free to make hotel/restaurant suggestions. Sharing is good! Ugh, I’m burnt out on this vacation already.

Yay, my assistant starts next week! I cannot fucking wait! My head was thisclose to exploding. As I explained to mcbias last week, I have been copyediting around 8 books a day recently – keep in mind that’s a lot of books to cover even if I were, oh I don’t know, a copyeditor. However since I’m NOT a copyeditor (I’m simply the only person in my office capable of doing it), this has obviously been taking up a lot of my time. Time I really should (and weirdly am also expected to) be using to do my JOB – ie. taking meetings, reviewing books, acquiring books, negotiating deals, working on contracts, etc. But now that I have my assistant starting on Monday – someone I can train to copyedit these books for me AND handle my schedule…sigh. Bliss. I’m going to be in such a happy place.

You know what’s NOT a happy place lately – the 6 train in Manhattan. Not only have the trains been a nightmare recently (I REFUSE to believe there have been signal problems EVERY SINGLE DAY during rush hour this week), but everyone on them seems to be sick and coughing on me. This morning I had no less than 8 people hacking away around me, and one guy actually pulled out that Afrin spray and was shooting it up his nose. Right next to me. (I thought I was going to jump out of my skin.) So MTA, just get some trains running and get these MASSES of people to and from work in some sort of an orderly manner. Please (you incompetent assholes!).

And finally a thought on the Cobra Brigade Bruce Paine articles – the series has some sort of name that I can’t remember right now, but hey, since I’m a little late in commenting on these anyway, who cares? My main thought so far: I’m…intrigued (and at times highly disturbed). If you dare, read this beauty on how Paine has decided to get closer to his food source – essentially it means he goes to a farm, chooses the animal he wants, and then helps to slaughter and butcher it; I had several thoughts on this (before I had to stop reading halfway through thanks to my delicate sensibilities). The top 2: 1) I respect anyone who realistically understands and accepts how meat ends up on their plate (God knows I chose to live in intentional ignorance when I ate it), and if, on top of all that, he or she has the balls to actually participate in the process – well, let’s just say I can’t argue that. I might even respect that. 2) If I hadn’t already been a vegetarian before reading that post, I would have been after. Poor little piggy. Bruce Paine is a monster – never forget that.

The other Paine article I want to comment on is Reciprocity – a nifty little conversation on relationships and sex (2 of my favorite topics). And the main thing I want to say is…I agree with him (gasp!). I know, I agree with someone else and I’m taking the time out to mention it here! (Today is a day for miracles apparently.) No, but in all seriousness the basic premise of the post seems to be that sex, like relationships, is about both giving AND receiving. Some other talking points from the post: If you like something (sexually speaking), then your partner should like it too – otherwise you’re fucked (um…but not in a good way). Oh, and you can and will learn more about your own wants and needs as the years go by.

That’s the cliff notes version of what I got out of it anyway – I urge you guys to click the link and read it for yourselves though (he argues things much better than I have the time to here; plus I don’t want to just repeat everything he wrote). One quick note: Ignore the stupid dude in the post who apparently likes dry humping inanimate objects – he was annoying and didn’t really add anything to the conversation. Guys can be such losers when they hang out together.

Alright, that’s it for me today. Have you all missed me?


MC said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MCBias said...

*Redhead, if you would, please delete my first comment, because it was sloppily written and I used my e-mail address instead of my commenting address to sign in.

Redhead, what M. left out was "I see you every day...because I stalk you every time you leave your office." Just kidding!

And ok, ok, I've missed you. I suppose if you're being nice and agreeable today in your posting, I'll do the same. I didn't capital m MISS you, but I made some sort of happy yelp/grunt noise when my feed reader showed a new post next to your blog's name. Counts for something, right? haha.

BP's Reciprocity article was wise, and I enjoy his writings as well. He has a unique perspective of being smart but also being very hands-on with his work and abilities. The article actually reminded me of some Bible verses that say "A husband should satisfy his wife's sexual needs. And a wife should satisfy her husband's sexual needs. The wife's body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong only to him. It also belongs to his wife." Probably the only time I will ever quote the Bible on here, ha. Now of course, there have to be some limits, to fend off the freak element that gets mad because the man/woman doesn't want (insert painful and degrading sexual practice here), but the basic principle is the same.

VA Gent said...


Glad to hear about the new assistant coming on board. It's best when work can be enjoyable, so that may be coming your way soon.

Have a great weekend.


rs27 said...

I imagined this whole post being said in the voice of Larry King. Do it, its fun. I giggled.

Ok, note to self: Don't ask girl if she's natural redhead as a pickup line.

Got it.

Kayleigh said...

Ok I had a few thoughts while reading this post.

1) Could M just be pining for you from afar, day in and day out, and finally just worked up the courage to talk to you but needed an excuse to do so? Totally the first thing I thought about when I read that. Kinda cute, but could turn stalkerish really fast. Maybe I'm just distrustful of the male species in general? Keep us updated on that situation.

2) The red head comment at the bar is pretty crass. I would be offended by that if I were a red head. You can totally read between the lines at what the guy is getting at. Ugh.

3) Hooray for assistants!

Bruce Paine said...

Bologna is very nice, but a little urban. It has the medieval feel, but it can't help that it is in the middle of a lot of things and the highways are kind of distracting. Venice is vastly overrated and more trouble than its worth. It is covered in pigeons and pigeon feces. When I mean covered, I mean covered. Not only does it make you want to stay inside, but they actually make an effort to sell tourists bird feed you can throw to them, which only makes things worse. On cool dry days the smell is stifling, on warm, humid days it is just disgusting. I would rather muck stalls all day than smell Venice. Florence is...Florence. It is Tuscany. Its magic. There is something to inspect everywhere you look. At times the opulence and historic wealth will take your breath away. The ogival dome of the Duomo is magnificent. And then you get to see the Uffizi and Vecchio and the Accademia and the David. If you can, though, look at it from his left side, the side his face is looking, I think it is more powerful to see that way. It is tough to get to the side of the room, and all the columns are in the damn way, but he looks far more adversarial. He stops being an object of youth and becomes an opponent.

Redhead said...

mcb: But you're missing the whole point - there are people out there who are into the whole painful/degrading thing, and that's fine as long they're TOGETHER. Shit goes bad when they're with someone who isn't into that. (Oh, and don't lie - I know you MISSED me.)

va gent: My mistake here was in not realizing that my assistant would have to be trained...and I have to train her. Needless to say, that's slowing down my return to blogging. But thanks for the welcome back.

rs27: Larry David?! Well, it could have been worse. And I'm glad I'm contributing to your continuing female education on what not to do.

kayleigh: 1) I guess it's possible - that would be okay with me since he was pretty cute. 2) Yeah, I wasn't sure whether to be pissed or amused. I chose the simple eyebrow raise and turn away route. 3) No shit - this girl is going to save my life.

paine: Look at you coming through again! All great suggestions - a lot of the same ones I've already gotten from people. In all honesty I couldn't be more excited about this trip; I took MANY art history classes in high school and college (I'm a closet geek about it), and my absolute dream place to go was Florence, so...yeah, I'm going to do EVERYTHING. My thoughts so far for Bologna are to eat a lot and drink a lot, and Venice looks like it might turn into a day or two affair so I can just go to San Marco Square at night. Any other suggestions are more than welcome though.

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

finally got the help you need, i wish i could get one at my office. i'm going crazy

Anonymous said...

I once had a girl ask me if my drapes matched my carpet. Since I am completely bald, I am not sure where she was going with that line of questioning. Seems a little weird in retrospect.

Welcome back. You have been missed.

mcbias said...

Wait, read my comment again:
"that gets mad because the man/woman DOESN'T WANT (insert painful and degrading sexual practice here)"
I'm not talking about what both members define as normal. I agree with you, to a certain extent, that consent and the couple's own rules should govern what happens. In the BP article, it was clear that there was a consensus from both that the act was ok and was mutually pleasurable for both, so there was no excuse.

(Although, I've always been distrustful of using "consent" as the ultimate measure of sexual morality. Most people will consent if they realize the alternative is the other person will walk out on them if they don't... but that's more like blackmail, not consent.)