Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Very, Very Quick

So I’m walking down the street this morning, getting both rained and smoked on (fucking smokers on the street piss me off – I can’t really get pissed at the whole precipitation thing since 1) it’s all natural so there’s no one to get pissed at, and 2) I’m the moron who forgot my umbrella today), when some fucker almost lights me on fire!

No, that’s not an exaggeration. This one smoker (who had been freaking blowing smoke on me for like 2 straight blocks) – I’m speeding up for a reason jackass so don’t fucking speed up too! – finished the interminable cigarette from hell and then THREW the still flaming butt right at me! Fucking asshole.

The cigarette literally came within a fraction of an inch from hitting me. And Mr. Smoker didn’t care. Hell, Mr. Smoker didn’t even notice. And that just wasn’t acceptable.

Needless to say I voiced my objection. Anyway, after yelling at the guy to ‘Watch where you throw your fucking cigarette you incompetent douchebag!’ I walked into my office building and calmly took the elevator to my floor. And as I was recounting the smoker story to one of my colleagues (minus the profanity), she said to me: Wow, you’re not the kind of person I would want to piss off like that.

Now, if one of you said that to me I wouldn’t be surprised (I mean, I’m pretty honest with you guys about my personality flaws), but a colleague? I’m actually really nice to the people I work with. On purpose. So… I’m perplexed. Does my true bitchiness come through without my knowledge. It never has in the past – generally when I get to know people they exclaim how I’m nothing like they thought I was upon first meeting me. ‘Meaner’ I think is the word most often used. But now… Am I losing my touch? Am I off my game?

(mental shrug)

So, happy Wednesday everybody.

11 comments:

TK said...

Does my true bitchiness come through without my knowledge.

No, but I've been telling everyone. Seriously. The guy who pumps my gas. Telemarketers. Dogs and cats. I'm thinking about hiring a skywriter.

Looks like word is getting around.

Erin said...

Maybe this colleague was basing this comment entirely on your reaction to the "almost lit on fire" situation. In other words, she heard you talk about yelling at this guy, and thought, "Hey, I wouldn't mess with this chick." In that case, it would have nothing to do with her prior perception of you, and everything to do with this one event.

GiveEmHellHarry said...

I don't think you're off your game. If you're like me, you are nice to people when you first meet them because they haven't done something really fucking stupid to piss you off yet. Sooner or later they will and you will rightfully call them on it. Some people might find that bitchy. I say fuck 'em.

Either that or TK's gossip is totally fucking you over.

Bruce Paine said...

I think you are looking at it the wrong way. You don't have to make people like you at work. You don't. Its work, nothing more. Don't take it home, try not to take home with you. If you are being nice to people in an attempt to make the time you spend at work easier, let me ask this question, why? Being sugary to people doesn't really tell you much about them in their response. Intimidation or physical imposition is just as easy a way of determining the stuff or "guts" of a person and will tell you more because they must deal with a form of adversity. After that you can make amends and more easily befriend the individuals of greater quality. If you want the people at work to like you, and actually become your friend, I guess that is different. If however, you treat them in an indifferent and professional manner and go about your business they should deal with you in like terms. But you shouldn't think that their perception of you as "mean" is a negative, simply adapt your gameplan to take advantage of your new asset. Show open distaste for those who don't measure up and be cautious and reluctant with praise for those who do well. In the end, those who make the grade will be swept up in the natural weight of your personality and those you need not bother with will simply be run over by it. Problem solved.

Oh, and after careful thought, it is possible that a unknown male approaching you at a bar and asking about your hair color is not asking about the color of your nether thicket. I said possible, not probable. I could tell a story about this one great head of hair in a history class about ten years ago... Regardless, his clear lack of savoir faire probably indicates someone who has a childlike understanding in how to elicit responses on sensitive subjects from young ladies. There are methods for obtaining such information without being so crass. I have no doubt that charm is in short supply in many bar scenes today. He was rude and I make no excuses for him. I will remind ladies, though, that the "carpet" as giveemhellharry put it, can mean ...well... everything for a guy and can be a constant source of distraction. Redhead's colorful condition probably exacerbates that given its anomalous nature.

mcbias said...

Redhead, I agree with Erin. Your reaction in retelling the story was probably rather strong, having just escaped the cigarette. Don't worry about it, you're still fooling most of the people most of the time, ha.

That's an interesting point you make about first meetings. At times I've intentionally sabotaged my first impression with other people for various nefarious reasons. It actually works pretty well, because then you can show "improvement" and "learning" and you also are more memorable. I should just start slapping people across the face on first meeting, ha. Hey, our relationship can only improve after that start, right? "Slap!" no, I meant, I slap YOU, not the other way around! Ouch!

Redhead said...

tk: Ah, YOU'RE the one! I should have known that you knew everyone.

erin: Yeah, but I was actually pretty calm when I told the story - if anything I told it in a comedic way (getting pissed while telling it would have been weird). I don't think that was it.

harry: A really good point, but I would also add to it that I also am rarely mean to people I work with (not professional) unless they really deserve it, which bring me to...

paine: OK a) stop being so smart around here - it's starting to annoy me, and b) while I love intimidating people (is that strange?), I rarely do it at work in what I would call a mean way. I can be standoffish to people at work (although I try not to be), and I can be tough in a business situation (because it goes against my nature to let people push me around), but I'm rarely going to show 'open distaste' for someone at work (even if I feel it). Call it a woman thing, and no, I DON'T mean that in a women are more compassionate way, I mean it in a women are more harshly judged when it comes to their behavior in the workplace way. Argue it all you want, but it's true. (Oh, and I don't actually think I'm capable of ever being sugary sweet...ever, so don't think I am even at work.)

As for your other comments - men are so weird.

mcb: As I said when responding to erin, I don't think that was it. I just think my true nature is starting to come through without my knowledge...which could be bad. Now that I'm getting some help at work (yay assistants), maybe I won't be so stressed and my facade of kindness won't falter quite as much. As for your plan - dude...

ThirtySomething Kat said...

1) I don't think you're outta line for being angry at having disgusting ciggy smoke blown on you OR being almost started on fire. Who wants to have that smell in their hair at the start of the day??? Ick - then smell it ALL day??? Blech...

2) I'll put money on the fact that your co-worker was probably being a bit jokey with that comment....or that was just their reaction to your reaction in your story. I wouldn't worry about it - is it such a horrible thing to be known as someone who won't take shit? I don't think so...

rs27 said...

I can only imagie if he actually succeeded in lighting you on fire.

That would have been a great post.

toadely said...

Actually getting set on fire woulda made a great post only if they still made Bactine.

Redhead said...

kat: 1) AND there's that, 2) That's a good way of looking at it - I definitely don't come across as the type of person to take shit from anyone.

rs27: You are so weird.

toadely: What is with my readers?

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

i'm the same way as you. i'm very nice at work and is the funny girl but in my personal life, i'm the raving bitch.