So I’m walking down the street this morning, getting both rained and smoked on (fucking smokers on the street piss me off – I can’t really get pissed at the whole precipitation thing since 1) it’s all natural so there’s no one to get pissed at, and 2) I’m the moron who forgot my umbrella today), when some fucker almost lights me on fire!
No, that’s not an exaggeration. This one smoker (who had been freaking blowing smoke on me for like 2 straight blocks) – I’m speeding up for a reason jackass so don’t fucking speed up too! – finished the interminable cigarette from hell and then THREW the still flaming butt right at me! Fucking asshole.
The cigarette literally came within a fraction of an inch from hitting me. And Mr. Smoker didn’t care. Hell, Mr. Smoker didn’t even notice. And that just wasn’t acceptable.
Needless to say I voiced my objection. Anyway, after yelling at the guy to ‘Watch where you throw your fucking cigarette you incompetent douchebag!’ I walked into my office building and calmly took the elevator to my floor. And as I was recounting the smoker story to one of my colleagues (minus the profanity), she said to me: Wow, you’re not the kind of person I would want to piss off like that.
Now, if one of you said that to me I wouldn’t be surprised (I mean, I’m pretty honest with you guys about my personality flaws), but a colleague? I’m actually really nice to the people I work with. On purpose. So… I’m perplexed. Does my true bitchiness come through without my knowledge. It never has in the past – generally when I get to know people they exclaim how I’m nothing like they thought I was upon first meeting me. ‘Meaner’ I think is the word most often used. But now… Am I losing my touch? Am I off my game?
So, happy Wednesday everybody.