At what point do you look at yourself and just say ‘WHAT am I doing?’ I ask this question as I ponder my weekend. It went a little something like this:
I got to choose the bar for Friday night, and being a glutton for punishment I chose our old standby – this place. Why? Well, why the fuck not? I was in a mood, was clearly looking for trouble, and at the time (Friday) couldn’t remember why I had to avoid one of my favorite places just because I had once slept with the bartender…and pissed off his girlfriend (who was not his girlfriend at the time!).
Anyway back to the story. So I recently realized (like, say, after Friday night) that I’ve become what is commonly referred to as a ‘lightweight.’ In other words, I was pretty well hammered after 2 (strong – I’m not making excuses but they WERE strong) drinks. FYI, this lightweight thing is inconvenient when you’re whole plan is to go out and drink all night. (Please feel free to mock me since I clearly deserve it.) It did however make it A LOT easier to do something stupid that I’d regret later. Cheaper too.
So there I was, quickly drunk at a bar filled with men who were conveniently also drinking, and WHO did I focus all of my attention on? A cute, single, nice guy perhaps? Nah, I don’t work that way. I sidled right up to the bar and started shamelessly flirting with The Bartender (I will say I was smart enough to make sure his girlfriend was nowhere in sight first), and at some point we hit on the great idea to get together the next night and ‘catch up.’
At that point you could say – well, Redhead obviously came to her senses the next morning and cancelled. Unfortunately you’d be wrong. I blame this on 3 things, 1) I’m not that smart, 2) his Irish accent (I really do love it), and 3) I would have felt guilty cancelling. You see, after we made our plans The Bartender went to some trouble to find someone to cover for him the next night (bartenders do tend to have to work on Saturdays after all). How could I have backed out once I sobered up knowing he’d given up a night of work (and tips) for me?
Still, loyalty only goes so far – I may have kept the date for Saturday night, but that didn’t stop me from flirting with EVERY guy at the bar on Friday night after making that date. Christine said I was in fine form (but for everyone out there who thinks I’m a whore, I would like to point out that I went home alone…yes, I’m a paragon).
The date with The Bartender on Saturday went fine by the way – we really do get along well. Now that doesn’t mean I trust him any farther than I can throw him (which is not at all), but if we could somehow come up with a way to just be friends…well, I think that would be nice. It will never happen, but it would be nice. (Oh, and I’m pretty sure he and his girlfriend are no longer together – I think. Okay fine, I didn’t really ask, but he did imply…ah fuck it, I’m just digging the hole deeper right now, aren’t I?)
But the best part of the whole weekend was Sunday! Because who should call me after my Moronic Extravaganza? Yup, that would be The Missing Dickhead Who Dumped Me! I blame the fact that he woke me from a nap for why I answered the phone at all. Anyway I’m kind of glad I did, because if I hadn’t I would have missed out on one of the more bizarre conversations ever, and that would have been too bad. Some highlights:
-He has a daughter. A 6 year old daughter. That was news to me.
-He only got divorced from the girl’s mother about 6 months ago. That was also news to me.
-His life is ‘complicated’ right now. (No fucking shit!)
-He’s sorry he didn’t tell me.
-He’s like us to be friends, but he’s not ready for a relationship right now.
Yeah.
Well, weekend’s over – back to work! Anyone else have a story to tell? Did any of you get arrested?
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12 comments:
You're a champ for taking the L and going out on Saturday b/c you'd committed. Staying away is probably the smart move going forward, but where's the fun in that?
Also, it sounds like the missing dickhead was, in fact, a dickhead who should be missing.
Wow, I didn't see that plot twist coming (about the missing dude, who is still an idiot). But hey, at least it's an interesting story.
That actually reminds me of the time this guy I was dating off and on came back into my life and announced he had a three year old (which apparently occurred right during one of our "on" times). When I asked why he had never told me, he said "didn't you see the carseat in the back of my car the last time we were together?" Um, no. It was dark and I don't usually go looking for those things. Should have just told me. As my cousin pointed out "what is this? Charades?"
Oh, and it sounds like you had fun Friday. Kudos to you for keeping your date, I probably would have canceled.
bb: I don't really blame the dickhead - I mean, he should have told me what was going on BEFORE pulling the great disappearing act, but...his life is way more complicated than mine; I don't know what he was thinking/going through. (Can you tell I really liked this guy? I'm NEVER this nice.)
alex: I love how my life has become like a tv show to you - you didn't see that 'plot twist' coming? I hate being this interesting.
dani: EXACTLY! Were there clues? Probably. But you just expect a person to come out and SAY something like that - we don't go about life constantly trying to find the hidden clues! Contrary to what Alex (above) thinks, my life is not a Ludlum novel.
Oh, and keeping the date on Saturday was no hardship...trust me.
Ha. You are being quite generous. But better off just saying, "Next!" instead of letting it linger, I think. Least you had fun Saturday...
Long time since I commented here but here it goes....I think it was wrong to go out with the bartender on Saturday if you weren't sure whether or not he had a girlfriend. The dude is obviously a sleaze if he's going to be playing like that. Then again, I can't say I was surprised at that part of the story.
I used to 'date' a girl off and on for awhile. When we were 'off' she would call me and tell me the same five stories every month until I finally said to her...."First, the stories are getting boring. Second, don't you realize the same things are going to happen to you until you change what YOU are doing?"
I mean, if you are just looking for the same stuff over and over, that's cool, I guess. But, if you are looking for something different it may be time to scrutinize your decision making paradigm.
Hey waitaminute now, I'm on your side here! :)
I did enjoy the Bourne books, though, I suppose...
bb: The question is, how many times has the dickhead contacted me since Sunday? Answer - at least 10. WTF?
cobra: Where have you been dude?! I mean, besides getting engaged (yes Paine, there is still someone reading Cobra Brigade) - congrats by the way, I was wondering what you were waiting for.
Now as for the ass kicking you just handed me there: I know he's a sleaze, and I want NOTHING from him emotionally. I will take responsibility for the whole poaching/betrayal of women thing (if it means anything - and I know it doesn't - that's totally out of character for me), but trust me when I say I went into the whole Bartender date thing with my eyes wide open. I am not expecting anything there, nor do I want anything. Now with the Dickhead...that was a NEW fuckup on my part, not same old same old.
alex: According to everyone else here my life is like a bad sitcom. If it were a good sitcom I could handle it, but a bad one...
Well if he just went away easy breezy, that would be too simple, clearly. People are weird.
for the whole poaching/betrayal of women thing (if it means anything - and I know it doesn't - that's totally out of character for me),
I mean, haven't you done this like at least two or three times in the last three months or so? The dude you fawned over even though you knew he had a girlfriend, this bartender at the bar before or this time (take your pick) and I'm guessing I've missed some posts but there might be one in there, too?
I'm just saying...if you are looking for something different, then you need to start acting differently. If you are just looking to have fun, which is totally fine if that's your decision, then just keep doing what you are doing....even though most times it seems like you really didn't have much fun.
cobra: Are you talking about the dude I flirted with on the warehouse tour?! (Oh, and flirting and fawning are two completely different things - be careful with your adjectives there.) I consider flirting with attached men to be a COMPLETELY different thing than DATING them. I see no reason why you can't flirt with a guy who has a girlfriend (just because you're with someone doesn't mean you're dead), and whether you agree or not I really don't consider that poaching. Same with The Bartender the first time - when I found out he had a girlfriend, I left; HE was the one flirting with me, but I backed off when I learned the situation.
Basically that was a long, semi-pissed off rant to say what I did last weekend WAS out of character. I accepted the date without finding out if he was still attached (he not by the way), and that was wrong. Everything I've ever done before that I feel no need to apologize for. People who feel that once they're in a relationship they have to cut off all playful communication with the opposite sex make no sense to me.
You know, I only read this blog and that's how I form my opinion. I don't know what you do day to day and it very well could be that I'm completely wrong.
That being said, I thought it was your intention to find a long term mate. Again, I could be wrong, but if I'm right....I'm just saying that you might be going about it the wrong way since it really hasn't worked for you.
Singles can flirt with singles, those in a relationship can flirt with those in a relationship. There are enough in each group to satisfy any need. That's what I think.
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