Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ewwww

A quick story:

So I walked into my apartment last night after another long day at work – iPod headphones on, music blasting (couldn’t hear a thing) – completely oblivious to the world. I unlocked the door, walked into my apartment, turned the lights on, and spotted my cat lying in the middle of the kitchen.

“Hey babe,” I said (out loud – shut up, don’t judge me).

“How was your day?” (Also out loud.)

“Mine was neverending. Mommy’s tired!” (I said SHUT UP.)

So, there I was talking to my cat (a not unusual occurrence), while I went about my ‘just got home’ routine. This included: Dropping my purse on the kitchen table, bending over and scratching my kitty’s tummy, opening my refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of water, and beginning to undress to change into something more comfortable.

Keep in mind my headphones were still on up until I pulled my sweater over my head (which was the first piece of clothing that I removed). Are you with me so far? Okay.

Anyway, there I was walking through my kitchen – headphones dangling to the floor since my iPod was still in my pocket, pants and shoes still on, sweater balled up in my hand, and a bra serving as my only covering from the hips on up.

That is how I walked into my bedroom.

And THAT is how I looked when I came face to face with my super.

How would I describe both of our faces? Deer caught in headlights seems like an accurate description. It was…awkward (to say the least).

Long story short – I quickly covered myself (as best I could) with my balled up sweater and learned that the apartment above mine had a pipe burst in the bathroom. My super came by to see if any water had leaked down into my bathroom. And he had been inspecting said bathroom when I came home from work (oblivious to the world). Needless to say, I surprised him (and myself). Thanks to a) my headphones, and b) my general cluelessness, I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone until it was too late.

The end.

P.S. It’s a good thing I was wearing a normal bra and not one of my lacy, see-through numbers.

P.P.S. Looks like things are going to be a little awkward between me and the super for a while.

P.P.P.S. I’m a freaking idiot.

21 comments:

Hermano said...

In the movies (that I watch at least...) they would use this to get a break on their rent.

Don't judge me.

rs27 said...

Sexy time.

Jack Cobra said...

Did the pizza guy show up next?

Redhead said...

Nice guys (my super is like 50 years old and has 6 kids!). Way to turn my abject humiliation into a cheap porno.

toadely said...

I don't know about the rest of you but all I could hear in my head while reading this post was "bow, chicka wow wowwwwww!"

TK said...

1. That was an all-time great story.

2. You're going to go deaf, you know.

3. I talk to my pets all the time, so I won't judge.

4. He totally ran home and touched it afterwards.

onthevirg said...

Shit...everyone already beat me to the obvious porno jokes.

Speaking of beating it...crap, someone already made that joke too.

Redhead said...

toadely: You people are missing the point of the story!

tk: I'm not going to go deaf (or at least it's a small price to pay in order to block out all the morons on the subway). As for everything else - thank you, good, and EWWWWWWWWWW.

virg: Nothing original to add yet still commenting - that's my boy.

rs27 said...

I'm not sure about cheap porno. You'd be surprised how much overhead goes into one....

I've said too much.

MCBias said...

But how does this compare with showing the office your underwear? We need some sort of embarrassment scale here to properly judge this episode.

onthevirg said...

Hey, I'm nothing if not derivative.

Lozo said...

did you blow him?

Redhead said...

rs27: You're getting more and more interesting.

mcbias: I would almost say they're equal on the embarrassment scale - both involved unintentional displays of nudity around people that I see regularly but don't have THAT kind of relationship with. I would like to take both back; let's leave it at that.

virg: Don't I know it.

lozo: Ah, another free peek into lozo's dirty little mind - thank you sweetie.

GiveEmHellHarry said...

I thought abject humiliation was cheap porno? I must be doing it wrong.

Bella said...

I just can't believe he over heard you talking to your cat...

:) Bella

MsPuddin said...

I usually head straight for the bathroom. and i use it with the door open, always, #1 or #2...

Redhead said...

giveemhell: Good point (don't worry - sounds like you're doing it right). I stand corrected.

bella: Yep, that was probably the second most embarrassing thing about the whole story (and yes, I did call myself my cat's 'mommy').

puddin: WAY too much information.

Jack Cobra said...

Also...I think you found your Halloween costume...'Surprised Tenant'

Jumpshootingfool said...

Let's throw it out there: how big is your rack? If it's sizable, you did yourself a favor. If anything ever breaks in your apt, he'll be there in 30 seconds. You have to figure this has happened to him before, right? But if you're flat chested, you'll have to wait until the DD womens apts are fixed. Or resort to Lozo's plan. Just saying...

Redhead said...

jack: Well that would be one way to simplify the whole 'find myself a man' thing. Somehow men seem to flock to the chick walking around in her bra. It's a mystery, I know.

jumpshootingfool: Dude, where have you been? I feel like I haven't heard from you in a while. As for your comment - ummm...how to say this... I am the girl with the D cups.

Lozo said...

you didn't answer my question, so clearly you did. good girl.