Friday, September 5, 2008

I’m Mean on Fridays

-OK, so not to be a bitch here (oh who am I kidding?), but who’s with me that Bristol Palin is batting WAY out of her league when it comes to her baby-daddy? This dude may be enjoying the attention now, and I’m sure he enjoyed the begetting of the child, but trust me – at some point he’s going to look over at this chick and think ‘I’m settling for THAT for the rest of my life?’

-Guys, you may not want to click this link. Ladies, what can I say to prepare you…? Nope, I’ve got nothing. I will only say that I found this picture of Luis Figo (soccer player)…intriguing.

-So my assistant went on a date last night, and like I asked her to (I didn’t think she’d actually do it) she took a picture of the dude and texted it to me so I could pass judgment within the comfort of my own home. However, it was what she wrote to go along with the picture that really said it all: ‘I’m asking all the questions.’ I totally understood. Men out there (and women too), the trick is to ask questions when out on a date! People like to talk about themselves, so get them talking. But for the morons in the audience, that goes both ways. If you don’t get asked questions in return for all your hard work, bail out. Losers are a dime a dozen, but the keepers are the ones who really want - and make an effort - to get to know you (and realize it when they’re NOT). I plan on meeting one someday. (A keeper, not a loser - I know TONS of losers.)

-Whoever invented the granola bar was a genius.

-Hey, did I mention to everyone that I’m going to Germany next month for work? My question here is, how can I go to the land of beer and brats and NOT eat the brats. That would just leave me with…ooh, hey, beer! Yeah, I’ll probably be okay.

-I totally just came into some paint, brushes, and a ‘practice pad’ of paper. You don’t realize it, but you have the next Bob Ross of art entertaining you right now. FYI.

-This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism I’ve come to expect from US Weekly.

-Oh, and will someone let me know when this chick finally SHUTS UP about her private life? NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!!! (Sorry I even linked to that – I didn’t bother to read what was written, but for some reason the title set me off.)

OK, I need to do some work now. Happy Friday everyone!


MCBias said...

I agree, Willow is hotter...err, I mean, I never, ever, notice the progeny of politicians. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check my e-mail to see if Cate Edwards has replied yet, j/k.

To continue the oversexed Friday theme, I am liking the assistant a little more with each post. I'll ask her plenty of questions, promise--now forward ME a picture of her, ha.

Oh, and for the record, she was a Natalie Portman lookalike (from last post). I'm not quite the Natalie fan I once was, though.

Jill said...

Oh amen about Jessica Simpson. Why can't she just fall off the face of the planet? Seriously. Oh and TGIF. You're allowed to be mean on Friday's. It's just an unsaid rule.

Art Fleming said...

Where in germany will you be exactly?

One More Dying Quail said...

Bristol Palin isn't that bad looking. You have to remember, she's five months pregnant, so we can't get an accurate read on her looks.

Personally (remember: this is coming from a hetero dude), I don't think the boyfriend is all that and a bag of chips.