Tuesday, July 3, 2007


In the history of half-assed posts (and I’ve been responsible for a few), this one is going to be the worst. It is going to be given the least tender loving care, the least effort - hell, consider yourself lucky if I even spell check this fucker - the least intelligence, and the least imagination that I can possibly muster. Expect at the most mediocrity, but be prepared that in all probability you’ll get complete and utter shit.

So, now that we’ve got that out of the way, you may find yourself wondering: Why am I even bothering to write anything? Well, the easy answer is I’ve gotten used to sitting down and venting for an hour or so every couple of days, and the (only slightly) harder answer is NY Guy is starting to get on my nerves; if I sit at my laptop and type, he assumes I’m working and leaves me alone.

You see, I’m on vacation this week - sort of. I guess technically it’s a working vacation, but let’s just say the word ‘working’ is being used very liberally here. Essentially, I was the only one on my team from work (we all requested off this week - yeah 4th of July!) willing to guarantee that I’d check my email on a regular basis and (here’s the real trick) respond. I’m also taking business calls on my cell when needed and conducting a couple conference calls that couldn’t be rescheduled. But um…that’s it. We’re talking at the most an hour and a half of actual work each day.

And I have to say, I’m enjoying this ‘working’ vacation thing. I could get used to it. Why just yesterday I found myself running a status meeting while wearing a bikini (not that anyone on the call knew, but it really did amuse the shit out of me). And except for a weird moment when NY Guy decided to cop a feel as he walked by, I’ve never been more relaxed during status. In fact, I suggest everyone try to take at least one meeting in their lifetime while wearing next to nothing - obviously I mean for you to do this by phone…walking into a conference room in your undies would just be weird.

Anyway, some other things that are going on or that I’ve thought of this week (so far):

-John and NY Guy finally met - John stopped by to pick up the Yanks tickets I was giving him and NY Guy was there. All in all it was…I don’t know. Fine I guess. NY Guy is oblivious to the situation so he was cool. And John knows better than to make things awkward for me. But it was uncomfortable for me, so that’s something! Anyway, I’m tentatively having dinner with John this weekend when I get back to the city, so we’ll see (if I can get out of it).

-Dogs are so much cooler than human beings. I mean, it’s not even close. Even the small yappy ones (not my personal taste) are awesome - they’re still dogs after all. And it’s not their fault they were born kind of annoying and ugly and…fluffy. It’s those big trusting dog eyes that get me - I fucking love that. But coolest kind of dog, hands down? The boxer.

-I’m still a redhead - I couldn’t go through with the whole blonde thing. So…there you go.

-Have you seen this show on HBO called Flight of the Conchords? Well, until Sunday I hadn’t. But if that episode (Episode 3: Mugged) is any indication of how funny the show normally is, I’m already a HUGE fan. I laughed my ass off! That is the kind of humor that I love - silly while being legitimately weird. Oh, and in case you need more than one opinion, NY Guy laughed too - maybe not as hard as I did, but I’m pretty sure that’s not possible anyway.

Anyway, now I need to share the show with you. Here is the song that made me fall in love - yes, they break out into song pretty regularly. Um, some background info: There are these two guys from New Zealand who are in a folk band or something…and they live together (but not in that way)…and they have a strange manager and only one fan…and here they are getting mugged! Cool.

Fuck it, I’m done. I’m too tired to write more. Later.


TK said...

You're right, that was a lame post. But I suppose you did warn us.

Couple of things for me to stick my nose into:

1. You didn't tell NY Guy about the John incident? Hm.

2. Why is he getting on your nerves?

3. You KNOW Manny is gonna be all up in your shit about the bikini, right? You're asking for trouble.

4. I want to work from home! I could be super productive sitting around half-drunk in my underwear. Oh, hell, who am I kidding. I'd be completely drunk.

onthevirg said...

Yeah, that's weird that you didn't mention the John incident to NY Guy. You must be planning to push him off already.

TK I'm guessing the the annoyance thing might have something to do with the drive-by gropings. The ladies LOVE that! At least that's what I keep telling my parole officer.

Manny, Lozo, *cough* me *cough*. Hell, all your male readers...you thought you had it bad when we were asking for boob pix and now you mention bikinis. TK's right, bad plan.

If I could "work from home" there'd be a lot less work and a lot more potential alcohol poisoning.

Redhead said...

OK, let's go through this:
1) Why would I mention the John thing to NY Guy? It's not for him to deal with (it's my problem and I WILL deal with it - eventually). Plus, let's say it did work out with NY Guy - the last thing I'd ever want is awkwardness or even genuine dislike between him and one of my best friends. Some things it's best not to share.
2) Everyone (male/female/family/acquaintence) gets on my nerves if I spend too much time with them - and going away with NY Guy basically guaranteed this was going to happen. I just need breaks from him every once in a while. And I never said the drive-by gropings bothered me.
3)I'm on vacation, of course I'm wearing a bikini! And I thought it was funny when I was basically running a meeting while wearing one - so I told you guys about it. Now get your heads out of the gutter or I'll never talk to you about my lacy underwear collection.
4) Working from home (or an outside vacation destination) really does rock. I suggest everyone try it, and yes, it's around noon, I'm technically on the clock, and I have already had a cocktail. Life is good.

Danny from Milwaukee said...

I think your predicament with NY Guy and John is very similar to the situation Winona Ryder confronts in the 1994 hit movie, Reality Bites. We can all see that you really love the Ethan Hawk character (John) but you claim to love Ben Stiller, who is annoying. Or something like that...

Jez said...

You're right on for not telling NY Guy about John. It would only lead to issues you wouldn't want to deal with.

Hey, for a blog suggestion, maybe you could talk about what it's like to live in New York. Not necessarily being a tourist, but I've heard that you can eat really cheap in certain neighborhoods. Good food, too, like Thai and Indian. Is that true?

TK said...

I'm totally wearing a bikini to work.

I mean, right now.

Yeah, it's a little awkward.

Redhead said...

danny: Fucking...awesome...analogy.

jez: Where've you been man? I've missed you making fun of my music selections.
A post on NY - I'll give it a shot. Don't expect anything on it this week though.

tk: But I bet you look hot in it.