Hey guys, I’m just going to babble today – in other words there will be no point to this post, I’m just going to jump from thought to thought as they come to me (sort of like stream of consciousness, but – maybe – slightly more coherent). There’s every chance that none of these topics will be interesting to you, and I really do see myself petering out at the end with no goodbye statement or hint that I’m done (besides the post ending that is). Cool? OK, now that we’ve got that out of the way…
My caffeine (plus whatever the fuck is in Red Bull) addiction is now officially out of control. I mean, I never really was much good at waking up on my own anyway, but at this point I’m running on pure coffee and energy drink. No joke, I don’t even remember my alarm going off this morning, but when I finally kind of came around to consciousness, I found myself standing in my living room with not one, but two empty cans of Red Bull sitting ON TOP OF THE TV in front of me. Do I remember drinking them? Fuck no. Do I know why I was just standing there in front of my tv, blankly placing trash on top of it at 6:30 in the morning? Noper. But that’s fine – I’m accepting of all my little quirks. Plus, I’m not even sure what my name is right now I’m so tired (and I’m on my second coffee of the day AFTER those two Red Bulls), so it would take A LOT for me to give a shit. Just thought I’d share that with you.
On second thought, let’s examine the situation…you know what I think the problem is? I didn’t take any naps this weekend. And that is just NOT acceptable. I mean what am I – an animal? I need my lazy time dammit! Where the fuck is my ‘me time’? Am I asking for too fucking much? I just want to be unconscious a little bit more!
Tantrum over (took too much energy). So what did I do this weekend? Glad you asked – well, I split my time pretty evenly between ‘talking’ (fuck, I hate that touchy feely shit) with the boyfriend I have that I don’t want (and make no mistake, it appears we’re back together – don’t worry about me, I brought it on myself so I’m toughing it out like a champ) and taking abuse from my friend (Christine) who’s pissed at me over the whole situation.
Now here’s my problem with Christine (she may be one of my best friends in the world, but that doesn’t exempt her from pissing me off on a regular basis) – she fucking passes judgment on EVERYONE. What the fuck? I mean yeah, I fucked up – that much is clear – but why is SHE so pissed? Why do I have to be lectured by her? I mean, I’m manning up and accepting that I must pay the price for my post-breakup stupidity (by continuing to date NY Guy as long as he sees fit – think of it like indentured servitude, but with sex), so what does it matter to her?
In other news, I’ve decided to become a vegetarian. Since I never really ate meat all that often anyway, I didn’t think it would be hard (it’s a total guilt factor decision – cows and pigs are cute). But I’m beginning to realize I may have been wrong. You see, the thought of never having ribs, or bacon cheeseburgers, or hotdogs at the ballpark, or pepperoni pizza, for the REST OF MY LIFE, is…fuck. I like meat. (Hee hee, I wrote ‘I like meat.’ Awesome.) How long do you think it’ll take before my taste buds override my conscience?
Hey, how much of an asshole will I look like if I throw a harness and a leash on my cat and take her for a walk? I think the sheer amusement I would get at doing it – combined with just how pissed off it would make my cat – may balance out the humiliation factor. Fuck it – I’m doing it tonight. Unless I forget of course.
Oh, and I’ve kind of been having the urge to move lately. I’m sure I won’t do it (my mom would fucking kill me), but really, what’s stopping me from picking up and moving somewhere else? Plus, it would be an excellent (if passive aggressive) way of getting everyone to leave me alone, which is always nice. But where would I want to go…
Hey, no one ever answers when I ask if you’re watching Flight of the Conchords. Are you? Are you at least watching the clips I’ve been putting up? I’m fucking loving this show – yesterday’s episode with the racist fruit stand guy, the Racist Dragon cartoon, and the Leggie Blonde song (below) was epic. Couldn’t have been more random and weird – I FUCKING LOVED IT. Anyway, I’m going to keep throwing clips up here until someone at least acknowledges the show.