Wednesday, March 5, 2008

You May Be Dumber After Reading This

If you guys think I’ve only been ignoring you recently, you’re just wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. I am, at this point, the worst friend/(ex)girlfriend in the world. Need examples? Okey dokey.

An email I got from Christine yesterday went a little something like this: Dude, I’ve called and left messages like 5 times in the past 3 weeks. What the fuck is your problem? Call me back!

My parting words for my too-young-for-me-anyway boyfriend: I don’t have time for this right now. I’m sorry.

The 2 emails (and by that I mean that this happened on two separate occasions) I sent out to my old work colleagues only hours before we were planning on meeting for dinner: It’s looking like I’m going to have to work late again tonight. Can we reschedule?

I am officially the hardest working person I know. And goddamn it, I don’t want to be! My assistant is great, but it didn’t occur to me that you can’t train a person to be an editor (when they have no previous experience) in just a week or so. Which sucks. So in conclusion: 1) Being an editor isn’t as easy at it looks (which I should have known; I used to be one), 2) giving one person a job (namely me) that two people used to do is just cruel, because there aren’t enough hours in the day for that one person to get all the shit that needs to get done, done, and 3) I’m fucked (and once again, not in the good way).

But enough bitching (total lie)! How’s everyone else’s life treating them? Anything interesting happen to you people lately? As for me, well…yeah, I’ve been working a lot. I broke up with my too-young-for-me-anyway boyfriend (as I’m sure you gathered above). John is still not speaking to me, but I heard he did ask a mutual friend how I was. Linda bought me a new vibrator as a gift since I had to get rid of my old computer and all its (unintentional) porn. I saw Avenue Q two weeks ago on Broadway and loved it (Guy: Cum. Woman: -mitment. Guy: Cum. Woman: -mitment.) – so funny. I still haven’t made reservations for my Italy trip yet (besides having plane tickets I’ve done jack shit as far as planning goes) and my sister is going to kill me when she finds out (yes, I’m going to Italy with the sis). And…

Yeah, so I’m thinking I should write something for you here besides boring updates about my life. So…is there anything everyone has always wanted to know about me? Do you want me to maybe do a post about all the things that piss me off? The list really does go on and on and on. Maybe you want another story from my past – just ask! (Is anyone even still reading this – admittedly – poorly updated blog?) Or if you’re feeling really brave maybe you want my advice on something going on in your life – I’m full of opinions and am not afraid of sharing! Hell, maybe you want my thoughts on…some topic to be named later – I’m your woman.

Ah fuck it, this is the most boring post ever. I promise to do better next time. In the meantime I have to go back to work. Still, good shit coming in the future. I swear. Really.


TK said...

Awesome! I bought the wife tickets to Avenue Q as a surprise birthday present. She's a musical theater freak, so I'm glad to hear it's good (considering I could take it or leave it).

As for the rest... so, your computer is infected with virus-y porn, you broke up with your boy, you're alienating everyone around you and are working yourself to death? Does that sum it up?

Wow. That's... kind of impressive.

Redhead said...

You'll like Avenue Q - several laugh out loud moments, and the puppet sex...let's just say, you haven't lived until you've heard a muppet yell 'Stick your finger there!'

Yeah, my life is a regular awesomefest. By the way, I just went to your site for the first time in a while and read about your (and Mrs. TK's kitty) - I'm really sorry. Puts everything in perspective.

Bella said...

Actually, the last post was pretty boring. At least this one had more drama.

Girl, I'm kidding!

You know life is full of ups and downs. Just hang in there and things will get better.

I think.

WTF am I doing trying to be philosphical anyway?!


rs27 said...

You had a boyfriend? I dont rmemeber that ever being mentioned. I think that story needs to be told.

Anonymous said...

Book Club! Book Club! Book Club! Book Club! Book Club!

Redhead said...

bella: Seriously, why are you getting philosophical? My way of dealing with the stress is making sure I have a glass a wine immediately upon getting home every night. I may become an alcoholic, but it's keeping me sane.

rs27: My bad. Here you go.

harry: I had to promise not to! And trust me, I read a doozy last week. I found myself reading this book, mouth hanging open in shock, while all I could think was 'the male protagonist in this book is an asshole, I hope the female protagonist kicks his ass...or at least yells at him.' So what does she end up doing? She has sex with him and his two brothers (all at the same time of course) to help them 'heal' from their unhappy childhood. Madness I tell you. Madness.

onthevirg said...

Redhead, we need to talk. Your lackluster blog work lately is just...disappointing. When you first started, there was such promise. Such verve. No, it's just infrequent posts that provide myspace type updates. {Shakes head} I think we may have to let you go.

Redhead said...

Alright, that's it - virg, I'm about to kick your ass. Don't piss me off bicycle boy, I update this blog more often that you update yours. And I don't have a warrent out for my arrest (yup, I caught up on your blog yesterday when I chose to completely slack off in the office). And stop visiting myspace - you're too old for that and it's creepy.

onthevirg said...

Actually math major, I'm up on you one post for the year so far. So perhaps instead of bandying about erroneous stats, you should check your info. I mean, that is what you editor type people are supposed to do right? Hey, I've got no warrant, I don't know what you're talking about.

And I don't go to myspace...the judge said I had to stop.

TK said...

Alright, that is IT! If you two don't knock it off, I will pull this blog over RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!