Monday, April 23, 2007

Blind Dates

What is everyone’s thought on the blind date? I personally am not sold on them. However, I’ll freely admit to being a fucking moron, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Now, I’ve had some experience with blind dates – painful, all painful (and cause for giving the person who set them up a hard time). But I’ve also heard success stories. So what the fuck do I know? Hell, I even have a friend who has set up two couples that eventually got married. (And no, I won’t let her set me up.)

So I guess my question is: How socially acceptable is the blind date? Does it still reek of desperation (as I always used to think before actually growing up), or is it just a good way to meet new guys?

Here’s the thing, I’ve dated (what feels like) almost every lawyer or ‘guy working in finance’ in the city of NY, and I need to change things up. The guys I’m meeting at bars and parties all seem like the same guy, and I’ve been getting bored. (Plus, as my regular readers know, I have absolutely terrible taste in men.) So my friends are starting to move in. They’re asking to set me up. And I may be starting to let them.

Case in point, my phone rang yesterday and my friend Hannah (from the non-draft post – lives in D.C.) was on the other end. She opened with:

Hannah: I may have given your number to this guy I know. So if he calls, be nice.
Redhead: (Not even batting an eye.) What’s his name?
Hannah: Nate.
Redhead: Looks?
Hannah: Very cute. Tall, built, full head of hair. But…
Redhead: But…?
Hannah: He’s in his late 30s.
Redhead: Hmmm. That okay, I don’t mind older. Ever married?
Hannah: Nope.
Redhead: Why not?
Hannah: I don’t know. He seems to always have a girlfriend thought.
Redhead: How’d you meet him?
Hannah: He used to be roommates with Scott.
[Note: Scott is Hannah’s boyfriend. I do not trust him. He is as fucked up as a person can be, and he and Hannah fight all the time. BUT, they love each other. So as a friend I can’t really say anything – I can just bitch about him behind her back. The fact that Nate is a friend of Scott’s is not a positive in my mind.]
Redhead: Job?
Hannah: Very successful.
[Another note: She gave me an actual job here, but I already forgot it. I do remember it sounded good though.]
Redhead: Reason you gave him the number of someone who lives in NY rather than D.C.?
Hannah: He saw a picture of you when he was at my apartment and asked who you were. Scott talked you up and then had me gave him your number. So now I’m warning you he may call.
[One more note: This is interesting. Scott and I generally give each other a hard time. So while I’ve never been out and out rude to him – he IS my friend’s boyfriend – I’ve also never really been nice to him. Let’s just say I’m surprising that he would talk me up – I wouldn’t if I were him.]
Redhead: Sure. Whatever. Sounds good – I’ll be nice.

So last night, when the phone rang (and blessedly pulled me away from yelling at my baseball team), I wasn’t surprised that it was Nate. I was surprised that we hit it off right away. Basically, I found out he had played minor league ball – and really knew his baseball – and we were off and running. Two hours later I got off the phone – after promising that I would go visit Hannah (and him) – in the next month or so, and shook my head.

He’d made a good first impression.

Still, what does that mean? He may know what I look like, but I wouldn’t know him if I fell over him. And that just seems weird to me. Liking someone without actually meeting them. Strange, right?

So I’m reaching out to all of you. Is it worth investing time in phone conversations on someone before even meeting them (and seeing if there’s any chemistry)? Is that a natural new form of dating? Or is it a colossal waste of time?


onthevirg said...

I can't speak to blind dates because I've never been on one. I used to meet women through friends, bars, parties, etc. When I got into my late 20's though I kind of got tired of all that BS. So I tried out dating sites on the interweb. That's how I actually met my g/f. We've been together 8 years this December so I think it is indeed possible to end up meeting someone worthwhile without getting face time w/ each other right away. But my experience certainly might not be the norm.

Jez said...

Don't worry about where it's all headed. Take a more zen-like approach to things; they are what they are. No use in getting worked up about it.

You talked to the guy for 2 hours, which in itself is pretty cool. So go to D.C., and have some fun. Even if it doesn't end up in a relationship, you 1) Maybe get a nice weekend in our nation's capital, and 2) Get to meet and have what looks to be some decent conversation with someone new.