So Kissing Suzy Kolber had another mock draft today (or at least the first half of it), and it was entitled ‘Clothing and Accessories that Accentuate the Hotness of Womankind.’ And some of their choices were interesting. Some were stupid.
Anyway, since I’m feeling less than creative – again – I decided to review their draft choices so far. What? Drafts are always subject to review.
Without further ado, here are the first two rounds and my comments:
1. The Bikini
A strong choice. Always sexy to men when on the right woman. However, it is important to keep in mind that not all women have bikini bodies. I’m assuming that this choice was made with the assumption that bikini women can tell themselves apart from one-piece women.
2. High Heels
As a woman, I think high heels are sexy too (that’s why I can never own too many of them). They make all women’s legs look better – so if you have good legs to begin with, heels can do a man in. Almost every man I’ve dated has wanted to have sex while I’m still wearing my heels. So this one was a no-brainer choice.
3. Thong Underwear
Fucking uncomfortable – I hate them. But…I wear them a lot of the time. The fact that men like them in irrelevant. It’s all about the panty lines. Oh, and ladies - they’re underwear; the general public does not want or need to see them. (I know most men disagree with me on this one.) All in all though, a good pick.
4. Pearl Necklace
5. Catholic Schoolgirl Outfit
Getting dressed up in outfits is always fun, and the catholic schoolgirl is a classic. Men – and women – like it when their partner gets dressed up for them; role playing can be fun! Solid pick.
6. Edible Panties
Hey, whatever gets a man’s mouth down there. Glad it went in the first round.
Absolutely. Men like breasts AND the camisole is light in hot weather. This is a logical choice that men can actually expect to see a woman in. The fact that it turns men on is just a bonus. Perfect first round pick.
8. Mary Janes
A fine choice if Monday Morning Punter meant the ones with heels (which would look great with the catholic schoolgirl outfit by the way), but that also makes it an invalid pick (see #2). And since flat Mary Janes aren’t anything to get excited about, I’m simply going to shake my head and move on.
9. Slinky Black Cocktail Dress
Absofuckinglutely. Women spend their entire lives looking for the perfect black cocktail dress, and sexy (read: slinky) is a consideration. I personally own four – so we’re happy men appreciate our efforts and it made the draft. Although, the example on the KSK site is awful.
I own several of these as well, but again see my note on the Mary Janes. Big Daddy Drew didn’t specify stilettos when he chose high heels, so wedges fall under that category. This in an invalid pick.
11. Garter Belt with Thigh Highs
Can’t argue this one. They’re totally impractical and women never actually wear them UNLESS they’re for a guy, but I’ll agree they’re sexy as hell.
No shit. Yes, men like breasts. But I will say that with the exception of in private, only small chested women should ever wear bustier tops in public. Women who are…let’s just say ‘blessed in that area’ look like porn stars if they wear them as tops. Not even remotely classy. Trust me, I know. So let's call these an at-home choice for ALL women (and men).
13. Booty Shorts
Definitely cute and so much more comfortable than thongs. But, they’ll leave panty lines, so they’re really only useful in private (like so many other things on this list). Still, that doesn’t make them a bad pick.
14. Tight as Shit Business Suit
I’m impressed that guys find this so hot, and I agree that they're sexy. However, that’s a lot of money to spend on a suit that you can’t actually wear to work. An ‘eh’ pick in my mind.
15. Eye Makeup
Makeup is always a good choice. I love makeup, and the right eye makeup is crucial. Still, I was surprised by this one. I would have bet money that lipstick – either a shiny gloss or dark color – would have been picked first. It is drawing attention to the mouth after all. But my own personal experience may be influencing me here – my lips are kind of full, so men who date me obviously like that and want me to play it up. Either way, I’m glad that Captain Caveman realizes just how attractive makeup makes women (we’re really not most attractive when we wake up, trust me).
16. Low Rise Jeans
I’m a fan of this one – and of the jeans. They’re comfortable and sexy, and as long as they’re not Tara Reid/Britney Spears low (where you need a bikini wax to wear them), they’re legitimately cute. If men like them too, that’s just a bonus.
17. One Piece Tennis Dress
I don’t play tennis, but I guess they’re cute – if Maria Sharapova is the one wearing them. I say the super-short white tennis shorts are sexier (and more multipurpose), but if men prefer the dress, that’s fine.
What?! I don’t see this at all. Is it the naughty librarian thing? I don’t believe men actually like women who need and wear glasses all the time; they only like a cute girl in a cute pair of glasses SOMETIMES. Trust me, I wore glasses for a long time before I had lasic surgery a few years ago, and everyone was shocked that I had such “pretty green eyes” afterward. Of course, I’d had those eyes my entire life, but NO ONE COULD SEE THEM behind the glasses. Not a well thought-out pick.
19. Nose Stud
That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.