Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Some Truths

So it’s going to take me another day to get my female version of the KSK ‘Hotness of Mankind’ draft going – mainly because all my friends have jobs that expect them to work. (Also, it’s a little hard to get your friends to do something like this without telling them why, and their not knowing about my blog is exactly how I want/need it.) Anyway, Jez, I will fulfill your reader request. I just won’t do it today.

In the meantime, here are a few Truths:

*Truth. Sitting outside in freezing cold temperatures for over 4 hours – like I did at Yankees Stadium on Saturday – WILL give you a cold.
*Truth. Getting a cold is a small price to pay for a fucking awesome baseball game.
*Truth. Zicam really does work to shorten colds. It just tastes like shit.
*Truth. I have a mouth like a truck driver, and it upsets my mother.
*Truth. Yankee starting pitching may just kill me this year. (And I still don’t trust Carl Pavano.)
*Truth. A Tetanus shot will make you feel like someone just punched you in the arm – for an entire week.
*Truth. I’m allergic to cats, I have a cat, and the shedding picks up in the spring – translation: I’m totally fucked.
*Truth. People who name their pets real human names, like Maggie or Amber, suck; pets should have names that make it clear you’re not talking about a person.
*Truth. This story about the lead chick on that show The Hills – and a possible sex tape she made – takes saying mean things about people to a whole new level (read the end).
*Truth. If you’re going to make a sex tape, never, ever, ever allow your partner to keep it. For any reason. I don’t care how much you trust that person at the time.
*Truth. All women love the movie The Sound of Music – it was on TV Sunday night, and every woman I know watched it. We all love it. We can’t help ourselves.
*Truth. The new guy on The Bachelor this season is a tool. How am I the only one who sees this? Who are the women who go on this show?
*Truth. Besides having good legs, Cameron Diaz is built like a boy. The media is delusional.
*Truth. Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream is the best ice cream. Ever.
*Truth. If your doing a Google image search (which I have been for tomorrow’s post), never put in ‘men in uniform’ while at your desk at work. You will see naked men. And they’ll be doing things to themselves. This is the definition of NSFW.

Update 1: Dog the Bounty Hunter season premiere tonight - don't miss it! The show is pure genius. Craptastic!

Update 2: The Ladies... are taking over KSK tomorrow. Therefore, I'm holding off on my 'Hotness of Mankind' post until Thursday. Not that I'm any competition - and I may write something - but tomorrow really should be about what I hope these ladies do. (I love a good smackdown.)


onthevirg said...

Couldn't agree with you more about Diaz. Out of all the "hot" celebrities she has to be like 76,289 on the list. She's just fug. And good forbid you see some of these people in HD.

You have to be glad about the offense the Yanks are gonna put up cause their pitching staff looks to be craptacular so far.

Redhead said...

Excuse me - I'm the only one who gets to make fun of the Yanks. (That's a lie but I'm hoping someone will listen one day.)

What are you, a Dodgers fan? You root for a Grady Little team? Good luck with that.

Jez said...

I'm just waiting for Wang to come off the DL so I can get some wins for my fantasy team.

Thanks for honoring the request. I look forward to it.

Also, I think the Ben & Jerry's "Chubby Hubby" ice cream is my favorite. Although, it's more of a novelty than one ice cream flavor. You can't beat chocolate coated peanut butter filled pretzels in malt vanilla ice cream with a peanut butter and chocolate ripple running through the middle.

Redhead said...

Yeah, it's the malt vanilla ice cream that ruins that. I never got the attraction of malt. Everything else sounds awesome though.
Ben and Jerry's used to have a coconut ice cream with little bits of cake in it - I used to buy that in college when I felt like sitting down and just eating a pint of ice cream (hey, it happens), and it was mind blowing. They don't make it anymore. Great, now I'm sad.

onthevirg said...

Actually, I'm an Angels fan. Can't stand the Doggers.