Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Let the Games Begin

Ah shit, this is going to be a long 2 days. Ignoring the whole I-have-to-deal-with-Penn Station-the-day-before-Thanksgiving – aka Hell – thing, it now turns out that my cat has been disinvited to my parents’ house. Um…what?

Yup, my phone rang last night, and when I answered it I was confronted with first my mother, whimpering on the other end (shit), and then my father, taking the phone from my mother to tell me that I could not bring my cat home for the holiday. Um, okayyyy. Why?

Well, turns out my brother and sister-in-law had just called. They’d finally heard back from their son’s (my nephew’s) doctor – and it seems that the little guy is allergic to dogs, cats, dairy, soy, and pretty much everything else under the sun. (He’s been having some asthma problems lately, and everyone’s been concerned about it.) Anyway, as many of you know my parents have a dog (a dog that all of us – my sister-in-law excluded – are very fond of). I have a cat. And since the dog can’t go, my cat apparently has to.

However, the real problem came from how my brother and sister-in-law chose to handle this news. Instead of calling my mother to discuss what could be done to make the house as dog-hair free as possible (hell, my parents pulled up all the carpeting in their house and put down hardwood floors for my sister-in-law a few years ago – she’s allergic to dogs as well), they simply called my parents last night and informed my mother that 1) while they would be coming for Thanksgiving (that’s my family’s holiday – we don’t get them for Christmas), they would just be coming for dinner. In other words, there would be no time spent together before or after the meal. And 2) they would probably not be coming to visit my parents much in the future. Because of the dog hair you see.

What…the…fuck? Overreact much? While my mother cried, my father handled talking to me (after my mother failed to get a word out) about my cat staying in NY for the holiday, and the rest of the family raged.

Now I love my brother and sister-in-law, and I understand their concern when it comes to their son, but calling my mother (a very sensitive and loving woman who does NOTHING but try to be a good mother-in-law and grandmother) to say that they will come on Thursday, but that they won’t be visiting much in the future…that was just cruel. And I’m pissed. My sister is pissed. My grandmother who flew up from Florida to spend Thanksgiving with the whole family is pissed. And my father…well, my father is upset mainly because my mother is upset.

In summation, Thursday should be a rockin’ good time – how much wine do you need to drink to make that kind of awkwardness go away? Happy Turkey Day everyone.


TK said...

how much wine do you need to drink to make that kind of awkwardness go away?

As much as you can cram into your belly, I guess.

That's retarded, by the way. My father-in-law is allergic to cats. We just clean up the house, lock the cats in a room, and he takes some Benadryl. There's no reason for them to be so drastic about it.

Anonymous said...

Good times, good times. You have got to love the whole family holiday concept. Normally fine, but throw in some tension and BOOM you have a great excuse for heavy drinking! Have a tremendous Thanksgiving! If you are planning on drinking that much wine, buy it in a box - it's cheaper that way . . . .

Redhead said...

tk: I couldn't agree more - it's a complete overreaction to the problem and frankly hurtful to my family. The fact that my brother and sister-in-law will probably follow through on not bringing the kids to my parents' because of this pisses me off. However, my mother won't say anything to them about it because she lives in fear of becoming one of those pain in the ass mother-in-laws; so instead she lets them treat her like shit (although I truly believe they don't mean to hurt her).

Fuck I'm angry about this. Yes, there will be massive alcohol consumption tomorrow.

anon: Yeah, we don't really do wine in a box in my family. Having said that, there will be no shortage of alcohol that will be available and drunk, and we don't even need an excuse to drink it (normally). For a family that usually gets along extraordinarily well, tomorrow's going to be interesting.

Jack Cobra said...

Major overreaction going on here, but that's what Mom's, in this case your Sis in Law, do. Give it some time, it will die down and the grandkids will be around the house again.

How much wine do you drink? So much that you refer to it much wine DIDN'T I drink?

TK said...

Actually, Jack Cobra's on the right track. It's not how much wine do you drink... it's... how much wine is available. The answers are one and the same.

Redhead said...

jack: Hope so (I doubt it actually, but I hope so). As for the wine - if I polish off a whole bottle on my own, I'm fucked (because there will be cocktails before dinner, trust me). Now 3/4 of the bottle, that I can do.

tk: Wine available - plenty. My parents have racks and racks of wine bottles in a little room off the basement. Other alcohol available - we could put a bar to shame with what my parents have in the house. How much will I drink of it - too much for my poor little body to handle, not nearly enough to put a dent in the house supply.

toadely said...

3/4 of a bottle and you're fine? I supposed this all depends on your definition of "bottle". 1 liter? Or 5 gallon?

Anonymous said...

If they're only going to be there for dinner then I say fucking bring your cat!

Yes, I'll have another said...

The answer is three bottles. It's a scientific fact. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Best of luck. I would go with two glasses or red wine to start the night. A couple glasses of white during dinner. A nice round of port after dinner and a heaping tall glass of Bailey's to end the night. Anything else might anger up the blood and I feel your blood is plenty angry already.

Redhead said...

toadely: 3/4 of a bottle of WINE. 3/4 of a bottle of anything else and I am as far from fine as a person can get.

anon: Yeah, didn't happen. My cat remained home, and I got to take the train back into the city after eating and drinking my body weight so I could be with her. It was FUN.

yes, I'll have another: Seriously dude, I'm a girl. What women do you know who can drink 3 bottles of wine and be okay?

harry: Mmmm, I love Bailey's to end the night. Nah, I started with spiked warm cider at about 2, switched to scotch at about 4, dove into the wine at around 5:30, and (weirdly) ended the holiday with a little limoncello before hopping a train back into the city. I was still drunkety drunk drunk as I dragged my bag through Penn Station while wearing 4 inch heels (thank God).