-So I had to get up at 4:30 on Tuesday morning to travel for work. Turns out, I’m REALLY not a morning person. Of course, there have been clues to that throughout my life. When I was a kid my mom used to wake me by saying (and sadly I’m not kidding here), ‘Time to get up and start your happy day!’ I…HATED that. When I got older I learned to actually wake myself up about a half hour before I needed to begin getting ready – this is what I call my ‘coming to’ period, and as many of you may have read here in the past, this includes Red Bull. Anyway, it got me thinking – what’s up with morning sex? Who likes that? I mean, every guy I’ve ever dated has, but WHY? Sure on a lazy weekend it’s fine, but during the week? When you have to get up and go to work after (and you could have been sleeping instead)? How does a guy NOT get kicked for trying that?
-I was going down to the train yesterday after work, and this woman cut me off. Wait, that’s not entirely true – it was her ass that cut me off. And I have to say that for once, I didn’t even mind. Why, you ask (after all I’m a massive bitch who lives for hating people who do shit like this)? Well let me tell you dear readers – it was because this woman was attached to the biggest ass I have ever seen in my life. I mean, it was HUGE. I honestly have never seen anything like it. Sure I’ve seen big asses before, and it’s not like this was a small woman to begin with, but this ass…I have no words. It was so blatantly out of proportion with the rest of her body that I was mesmerized. I’m not kidding, I think her ass weighed almost as much as my entire body. And it TOTALLY made my day to see it.
-Yeah, so it’s been a little while now since I’ve…um…BEEN with a guy (if you know what I’m saying – and you’d be a moron not to). And I have to say…nevermind. It’s the first few months that are the hardest, right?
-I don’t want to talk about the A-Rod thing just yet (many of you know about my love/hate relationship with him anyway) – frankly, I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about this.
-Barry Bonds…hee, hee. (Sorry, I just don’t like that guy.)
-A guy sitting next to me on the train a couple of days ago tried to start up a conversation with me. I did not let him. He was very cute, well dressed, etc. But he was SITTING next to me. There were women in that train car standing, and he was sitting. Call me old-fashioned, but I would never even consider dating a man like that. Let me explain – I was raised by a gentleman. My father would never sit while a lady was standing – I honestly have never seen my father sit down at a bar. He stands when my mother, sister, or I leave a table. He holds doors for us. And he raised my brother to be the same way. And you know what? It’s nice. Now that doesn’t mean that he thinks women are weak, inferior creatures (he raised me didn’t he?). No, it just means that he’s polite. A gentleman. And I like that. I want that in a man for myself. Which pisses me off because there don’t seem to be any more men like that out there. If I could give every new man I meet the Subway Test before ever agreeing to date them, I would. Unfortunately I can’t.
Men today suck.
-I’m getting a massage after work today – I can’t fucking wait.
Happy weekend everybody!