I’m So Tired

Is anyone else having trouble with this early Daylight Savings thing? I mean, yes, I like that it’s light out when I leave work at night. But I’m not loving it yet. (It’s like the fucking middle of the night when my alarm goes off in the morning now! I’m the type of person who needs all the help I can get when waking up, and I’m being sabotaged.)

I love sleeping. Let me repeat that: I love sleeping. How the nap fell out of favor for anyone over 6 years old is beyond me. I want it back (on Sunday afternoons I still take one by the way, and I’m not apologizing for it). This whole theory that you need less sleep as you get older is bullshit.

But you know what? I don’t need any extra help staying awake at 7/8pm. Ever. Sure it’s nice having the sun out then, but it’s not a necessity. I can live without it. I don’t find myself feeling sluggish in the early evening. I don’t find myself aching with exhaustion then.

However I ache with exhaustion every morning. So if the choice is between a little sun in the morning or a little sun at night, I’m voting for the morning. (And yes, I know I don’t actually get a vote). Still, I’m getting desperate. Let’s take a look at my mornings lately:

6:15- Alarm goes off. (Snooze.)

6:24- Alarm goes off. (Snooze.)

6:33- Alarm goes off. (Snooze.)

6:42- Alarm goes off. (Snooze.)

6:51- Alarm goes off. Fuck!

6:52- Stumble to refrigerator. Grab a Red Bull, open and drink.

6:57- Realize I’ve zoned out. How much time did I lose? Only 5 minutes. Need to take a shower. Fuck I’m tired.

7:08- Get out of shower. Wrap myself in a towel and notice I’m cold. Go back to bed and get under the covers – just for a few minutes.

7:30- God damnit I fell asleep! Get out of bed (again), go in search of clothes, pull them on, and face the mirror in the bathroom.

7:35- Shit. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep with my hair wet. Um…a ponytail it is.

7:38- I can’t really deal with makeup. A little mascara, some lip gloss, and that’s about all I can do.

7:40- Why the hell did I put on lip gloss before brushing my teeth?

7:42- Reapply lip gloss after brushing teeth. Wait, I’m hungry. Fuck it, I’ve already brushed my teeth and put on lip gloss twice. No breakfast for me.

7:45- I’m tired, I’m hungry, I can’t find my keys, and my cat looks so comfortable passed out in the middle of the bed. So jealous. Feel like crying. Need coffee.

7:50- Stop at Starbucks and get a tall coffee for the train ride downtown. Yes, just for the train ride.

8:15- Stop at the Starbucks by my office. They know me so I don’t have to speak, just have to pay. Get my second coffee of the day – this one will be a venti. Should I get something to eat too? Too tired.

8:20- Arrive at the office. Sit down at desk and blindly check email. Don’t respond to anyone. I am functioning in a fog.

9:30- Finally able to form coherent thoughts and start replying to emails and greetings from coworkers. Still wish I was in bed, but accept a granola bar from the woman who sits near me (who decided about a year ago that if left to my own devices, I would starve to death out of sheer laziness; she has sworn not to let that happen).

And that’s about it. From then on I’m a fully functioning human being (essentially).

So what is the point of this post (besides making it clear to me that I spend entirely too much money on things like Red Bull and coffee)? Well, there isn’t one really. Except to say that I’m tired. And I hate mornings.

And, okay, so my morning schedule (above) may be more typical than I originally stated – it may even typify how I start every day – but that doesn’t change the fact that Daylight Savings has made it so it’s fucking dark when I wake up. And I don’t need getting up in the morning to be any harder for me. So I’m going to bitch about it. Because I can. So bite me.