Hey, so it’s my company Holiday Party tonight – actually tonight’s party is just for executives, tomorrow there’s another party for everyone (agh, so much alcohol, so little time!) – anyway, tomorrow’s party is neither here nor there, my point is tonight’s party is making me a little worried. Because people have been telling me stories, of past parties, and the behavior that has come out of them, and the alcohol that flows, and…I think I may be in trouble. Let’s dissect this, shall we?
My last company’s Holiday Party – held AT THE OFFICE, shitty open bar, hors d'oeuvres set up on a few tables, started around 5 (in other words, everyone just wore work clothes), went on for a couple hours, home by 8:30.
My new company’s Holiday Party – held at a hotel uptown (in the Penthouse), apparently first rate bar, this one starts around 7 (everyone who goes changes into cocktail dresses/nice suits – I have my Audrey Hepburn style little black dress ready to go), has a cocktail hour until 8, speeches until 9, and dinner and ‘celebration’ until midnight.
According to my coworkers, things get a little wild at this shindig. I am to expect 1) not to get home until around 2 or 3 in the morning (apparently), 2) to get VERY drunk, 3) to be much amused by whatever theme the party planners have chosen this year, and 4) to see and/or hear many things that will ultimately end up in the pantheon of great/embarrassing company Holiday Party stories (stories that will promptly be relayed to EVERYONE at TOMORROW’S party).
I cannot end up being one of those stories.
So, my game plan is…shit, I have no game plan. Obviously I will try not to overindulge, but it will be hard since everyone else apparently will be (much like at the holiday lunch last week, where I got…well, kind of drunk; but not embarrassingly so).
Do you guys realize that I’m going to be all dressed up, at an open bar, surrounded by my coworkers (all of whom are talking about how drunk they’re planning to get), with the owners of my company nearby (pretty conservative guys), and…
No biggie. I can avoid embarrassment. I know I can. It’s not hard – people do it every day. I just need to pace myself. And eat something first. And not see any men who look good to me. And relax and be charming. And professional. But still fun. And well-spoken. So no slurred speech.
Fuck, I’m so screwed guys.