Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A Little of This, A Little of That

I kind of want to start out by saying that I am not nearly as cranky/angry as I’ve been sounding lately. Honestly.

Good, now that that's out of the way...

-Hmmm, Britney Spears’ 16-year-old sister is pregnant. Everyone is SHOCKED! Shocked I tell you! I mean sure, this kid grew up in the Spears family (great parenting at work there), and, according to Perez Hilton, was living with her boyfriend at the tender age of 16, but still, how could ANYONE see this coming?! I just don’t understand HOW this could have happened!

-File this one under too much information: Have you ever thought your period was over – you know, because you stopped bleeding for over a 24 hour period of time – and then…surprise! It’s not. And you’ve ruined a perfectly good pair of panties AND jeans. Hmmm? Oh…right, most of my readers are male. Ummm…sorry about that.

-So I’m going brunette – yes, I know I’ve said this kind of shit before, but this time I mean it. I spoke to a colorist at my salon yesterday and have an appointment for Saturday. I’m thinking a nice, chocolate brown color; kind of wintry, should set off my pale skin well, and best of all it will be DIFFERENT. I need a change. Don’t worry though – you can still call me Redhead.

-A minor ripping on a blogger that I will not name (I’m going to try to avoid upsetting anyone in particular today – I’m finding some people are REALLY sensitive when I openly disagree with them…it might have something to do with my charming personality): So there’s this blog I used to read (off and on) until recently. Why did I stop reading you ask? Well, that one’s pretty easy to answer – it’s because of the writer. He’s…well, he’s pretty much a pussy. And it was pissing me off. A lot.

Let me explain… So about a week ago I’m reading this dude’s latest post – which was almost exactly like ALL of his posts – when it hit me. I can’t stand this guy! All he writes about is his ex-girlfriend. Someone he broke up with like a year ago! Dude, get over it. I understand that she was the love of your life. I understand that you two dated for a really long time. I understand that you’re a sensitive guy. But still…SHUT UP!

There has to be a cut-off point where you’re simply not allowed to talk about your ex anymore. Sure, if they come up in conversation or you have a pertinent story about them (like with anyone else) go ahead, I’m not going to begrudge you that. But otherwise…STOP IT! No one else cares, it makes you look pathetic, and it’s annoying as all hell! Let it go. I dated a guy for 4 years, we broke up, I talked about him afterwards (he was a large part of my life for a long time), but then I stopped. Because I saw the looks on other people’s faces when I mentioned him. And I felt like an asshole for bringing him up so much.

That was roughly 4 months after the breakup.

So, Random Blogger that I Will Not Name, give it up. Complete strangers on the Internet think you’re sad, I can’t imagine what your friends are going through (and no matter what they’re telling you, they want/need you to let it go). Thanks (and yes, I know I’m a bitch).

-The only people that I have Christmas gifts for are my nephews – I’m so fucked. Does anyone have any ideas? I can probably handle my mom and sister, but my dad and brother/sister-in-law (those two get a joint gift) are killing me. Please help.

-I’ve had a runny nose for like 5 days now, and when I cough little globs of phlegm come up. Should I be concerned?

-So what do you guys think of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria? I say he cheated. You?

-If you were going to name your pet after a Greek God, which one would it be and why?

Yup, I think that’s enough – the cold seems to have mellowed out a bit in NY today, so I’m running out for some soup and a hot chocolate. Happy Wednesday everyone!

34 comments:

GiveEmHellHarry said...

How could you possibly consider changing the majesty and the beauty that is red hair for brunette? You are killing me.

Jack Cobra said...

I've gone through your entire blogroll twice trying to figure out who that guy is that is writing that out...give up the name!

Redhead said...

harry: Awww, and with how stressed you've been lately I actually feel bad that I'm upsetting you. Still...the brunette thing is going to happen.

jack: He's not on there - I honestly only put blogs that I really, really like on my blogroll (not just ones that I read because I get bored at work). Now don't you feel special?

Oh, and way to try to get me in trouble by naming names! Have you not witnessed the overreactions around here? I've been taken OFF people's blogrolls in the past 2 weeks (which actually cracks me up). Now behave.

Jack Cobra said...

I guess I didn't realize blogroll's were that important. I'll have to update ours so that people don't feel left out.

rs27 said...

Nice that blogger isn't me.

Did you see that girl that Tony Parker cheated with? She's a hundred times hotter than Eva Longoria. Yeah ,Tony was doing the hibbity dibbity all night with her.

You have to go Helio or Pocket Hercules.
Name the pet

TK said...

1. Re: your period. *barf*

2. Guess that blogger ain't me. Phew.

3. I don't give a fuck about your hair (and I mean that in the nicest way possible).

4. I also don't give a fuck about little Spears or Tony Parker. But Eva Longoria annoys the shit out of me.

5. I'd name the pet either Ares or Prometheus. Or, if it's a girl pet, Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Makes sense.

Erin said...

Regarding the period (since I am one of your few female readers), yes, that has happened to me. And yes, it is really annoying.

Tony Parker cheated.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a medical professional of any kind.

But, if your phlegm is green or brown, be a little worried, because that could indication infection. If it's clear or a little yellow, it's probably nothing serious. Worry if you have a fever, or if it starts to get worse instead of just maintaining. You don't really want to go on antibiotics unless you have to.

Redhead said...

jack: They're really not all that important. Truly.

rs27: I like that everyone just seems relieved they're not the person I'm ripping on. I agree with your comments on Tony Parker, and...Pocket Hercules? Are you serious?

tk: 1. Bite me, 2. Nope, you're clear, 3. Awww. Dude, that hurts, 4. I find her a little annoying too, but...you seriously don't find this little Spears stuff hysterical? Really? What are you? Are you even human? 5. I knew I liked you - one of your suggestions is in fact the name of my cat.

erin: Thank you! I knew the women around here would understand (but keep in mind, we are seriously outnumbered). And...damn, you actually showed some interest in my health and well-being (you must be new here). Nope, no weird colors to the phlegm, but still...I'm starting to gross myself out - and I have a pretty strong stomach.

MCBias said...

First: Brunnette > Redhead for me. This is my Christmas gift from you, isn't it? (yes, because that's all I'm getting, I know--beat you to it.)
Second: When it comes to Greek Gods, I'd call the pet Apollo, 'pollo for short. If it's a girl, Athena is good.
Third: Why don't you get your brother and sister a gift certificate to a store that has to do with their hobbies? (i.e. Foot locker if they like running, etc.). It's dull, I know, but at least it's a step up from the Blockbuster/Starbucks gift certificate. Or, some sort of his and her gift is cool--spa gift certificate? breadmaker? That's a tough one, though. Those GPS car devices are getting cheaper; that might also be a thought for your dad or brother.

onthevirg said...

- First off, I gotta agree with TK about your cycle, thanks for making me ill.

- Hard to believe with that kind of upstanding family and parenting examples that a 16 year old is knocked up and making the brilliant decision to keep it.

- Now you're just making me sad that you're dying your hair.

- The answer to your brother/sis-n-law problem? Porn. The gift that keeps on giving.

- Of course he banged her, she's much hotter than that fug wife of his.

- Dionysus (male), cause, well...I'm a lush. Plus you could call him Dio for short. Athena for a female since she was a badass.

Butch said...

I don't think redheads should ever change their hair color. Or shave their "proof." There oughta be a constitutional amendment.

I always liked Prometheus, but technically he is a Titan, not a God.

Redhead said...

mcb: Well, I'm glad I could at least get a gift for you (fuck my family). OK, here's a question - why do there have to be different names for a girl or boy cat? I see no reason why a girl cat can't be called Apollo. Oh, and thanks for the gift suggestions, unfortunately everyone in my family has cars with built in GPS systems, I got the joint spa (couple's massage) gift certificate for them 2 years ago, and they don't cook. They do run, but...maybe I could get them something for that. Any other ideas?

virg: Are you shitting me? You talk about your g/f's period ALL THE TIME! This is the first time I've ever even mentioned mine (stop trying to kiss us to tk). Thanks for the red hair love, and...porn?! For my brother? You sick fuck! (I do like the Dionysus suggestion though.)

butch: Love the screenname. As for the haircolor/proof argument - um, would it be okay if I changed my hair color and kept the 'proof' (tastefully groomed of course)? As for your Greek God - yes, Prometheus wasn't technically a God, but...that's my favorite one.

Jack Cobra said...

My ex-fiancee is a redhead and she went brunette one Winter. It went over quite well.

Redhead said...

It went over so well that she's now your EX-fiancee? Yup, that's a ringing endorsement if I've ever heard one.

Jack Cobra said...

No, no....that didn't have anything to do with it.

Redhead said...

Sooo...are you going to tell us the story or just leave it at that? Come on jack, someone has to entertain the masses today.

Jack Cobra said...

Do you want the long story or the short one?

Slightly Disorganized said...

Hey Redhead, why don't you stick to bashing people you know rather than bitching about people's blogs you don't know. So what if he's still crying about her? It does NOT affect you and you choose to read his blog anyways. You're probably one of those girls who likes to get all spiun up because she likes the drama. Perhaps his blog is the only place he still talks about it. And it's his fucking blog, so stop being so judgemental. You seem to spend a lot of time bemoaning your single status, and anyone who reads this blog could probably give you a couple of reasons why that is. oh right, because you're a cranky bitch. Not that there is anything wrong with being cranky, or being a bitch, obviously I am both as well, I just think maybe you need to call your friend kettle, and talk about how you're both black as night.

Just saying, why don't you stick to rants that aren't about people you have no real life conception of. Freedom of speech is one thing, but being a nitpicky bitch for fun is another. You can probably guess which one I think you are.

Also, NO ONE wants to hear about your period. Gross.

Butch said...

um, would it be okay if I changed my hair color and kept the 'proof' (tastefully groomed of course)?

That would be a beautiful gift to the world. It would be sweet justice for all the guys who go to bed with faux redheads, only to unwrap her and discover... fooled again!

Although some would say a dye job is a redhead's way of removing nature's warning label :)

Redhead said...

jack: Long story, of course.

slightly disorganized: Wow, that's...really angry.

butch: OK, what do you mean by nature's warning label?

Slightly Disorganized said...

hell yes it was angry. I think you were cutting him down for the sake of being a bitch, and not because you are truly concerned about him in any way. And if you don't care so much, why are you writing about it???

And strangers on the internet might think YOUR blog is sad, but they probably keep their opinions to themselves.

Nice diffuse of a bitchy comment though, minimizing me like that, and not really responding.
Touche!

Jack Cobra said...

Um....you get the short story because it's been like three years so I'd probably leave out a ton of details anyways. This is going to seem like a total Soap Opera but it's a true story.

1. Her family sucked. To this day I don't think they even liked their own daughter. Pretty rough childhood.....and adulthood. Having an older brother who beats you every day after school and parents who worry more about their dance school than their family will do that to you.

2. She was a recovering addict from using in college. Before I met her. For some reason I ignored that red flag...

3. She moved in with me and started a new job, leaving a good corporate job in Chicago for a lower paying small business job. Yes, people actually do that. Her Mom did not think she could work and prepare for a wedding at the same time and constantly berated her. Thanks Ma!

5. My ex starts drinking pretty heavily.

6. At this point you can probably realize how long the long story is.

7. She goes home one weekend to go over wedding invites with her Mom. Goes out to bars with her sister, sister tries to beat her up....Parents tell her that they don't love her, wish she wasn't alive, etc.

8. She calls me (I'm five hours away) drunk and crying saying how her family hates her. I try to console her and get her to go to sleep....

9. She walks into the kitchen and starts slicing open her wrists while on the phone with me. I hang up, dial 9-1-1. Ambulance gets there, takes her to hospital. They diagnose her as an alcoholic.

10. I hop in car, drive five hours, walk in waiting room and punch her father in the jaw. He spends a couple of hours with the Dr.

11. The hospital only lets me see her, and not her parents since she is over 18 and it is her decision. Parents disown her because of it. Seriously, they made me come to their house and pick up all of her things from her childhood....because they put it on their driveway overnight. Then they stood there on their porch and watched me load it up.

12. She spends the weekend in the mental health portion of the hospital as I stay in a hotel nearby waiting all day for the 30 minutes I can see her and the 10 minutes I can talk to her on the phone.

13. We have a 'family session' on the following Monday where her parents deny everything and walk out of session.

14. Did you really think it would go this long?

15. I get her back to town and she starts AA and I start Al-Anon.

16. It gets to the point where she can't look at me without feeling embarrassed for what happened and I can't look at her without getting angry for what happened.

17. We break it off.

So, there you go. 17 steps. Three and a half years ago. I didn't date for two years after that.

Hopefully that took up a good 4-5 minutes....

Redhead said...

Sigh...OK, I'll go there - didn't really want to, but why not. Look, I always thought that having a blog, essentially putting your thoughts etc. out there for strangers to read and comment on, meant that you were aware that you were...well, putting yourself out there for stangers to read and comment on. For instance, you obviously don't like me or what I've said, and even though I have the capability to delete your comments, I'm not. Because I have a public blog that anyone can read, and if they feel the need to bitch at me or stroke my ego, I'm putting myself out there in order for them to do so. I don't have to, I choose to. And I figure if I really bother you or anyone else, if I'm really so 'sad' to you, then you have all the power in the world to simply stop reading me(which is what I did with this guy).

Now no, I don't know him, and I don't really care about him, but I had some thoughts on his blog - and the issue of people not letting past relationships go, which is a problem with A LOT of people - and I used him as an example. I didn't name names for a reason. Now if that makes me a bitch, or a bad person, or anything else, fine. Again, I don't know you, I put my thoughts out there and I'll accept whatever backlash there is because at the end of the day you don't know me, just as I don't know this guy, so what you think of me (and what I think of him) doesn't really matter. OK?

Redhead said...

Holy shit Jack! That's...quite a story. Is she okay now? Did she handle the breakup okay? Do you even know? Damn. I have to say, it sounds to me like you really stuck by her much longer than most guys would. Still...wow, that must have been tough. I'm glad you have the Lovely Dentist now.

Slightly Disorganized said...

that's a much better analysis of the situation than the one you posted. You're obviously capable of pretty insightful thought, so why do you always get so cranky and irritated about it???

I agree that I don't know you, and I don't even know enough about you not to like you, or to like you for that matter, But you are right. I did NOT like what you said, because I just think that bashing other people's blogs or posts is completely without class. You could have made your point without making it obvious whose blog it was, which it was to some of us.

I don't think you're sad, I was just pointing out that your blog might not be everyone's cup of tea either, But I don't see them writing posts about it, although perhaps I am just not reading the right blogs.

Bottom line is, in the world of blogs, for me, being hypercritical of someone else's choice of topic is just your opinion. Which I suppose you can say I did of you as well.

So I'll be the first to admit that I'm black too. Hello, pot and Kettle, it's me, skillet.

Jack Cobra said...

I've talked to her less than ten times since it's happened and it's my understanding that she's still working through the AA program, which is good. As for how she handled it...I don't know. I didn't really talk to her then. I stopped communication so I could work through it myself. I guess since she still has her non-drinking streak going, she did ok?

Yes, it was a blessing in disguise (I hate when people write that). I'm in a much happier and more stable situation now.

Redhead said...

slightly disorganized: Look, my personality is what it is, so if I say things in an offensive/bitchy manner...I guess I say things in an offensive/bitchy manner. I will say that I thought I was pretty clear about how I didn't want to single out this blogger by name and hurt/embarrass him/start a war (he's not on my blogroll, he's never commented here, I've never commented on his site, and for all I know he doesn't even know this blog exists). In not singling him out I was really just trying to use him as an example.

Now as for not commenting on other's sites...I'm sorry, but I've been doing that since the beginning of this blog. Sometimes I respond to things I've read and sometimes I steal an idea and try to make it my own (while giving credit). If people blog about what I've written - okay (I'll admit to probably not even realizing if they did); it's just a form of personal expression for me and many others. But either way I have no problem with our discussing it, and it's good to hear you don't either.

jack: Yeah, that 'blessing in disguise' stuff always pissed me off too. Still, I've heard it many times and it's even (gulp) turned out to be true in the past. Anyway, I will say that you've clearly gone through WAY more dramatic relationship stuff than I have in the past, and to think you've come out of it and can still have a healthy relationship...damn, it gives the rest of us hope.

Thanks dude, that can be your Thursday present to all of us!

rs27 said...

What the hell is going on around here? I leave for half a day and we're getting ex-fiance stories and cat fights.

This is awesome!

Butch said...

I was going to point out that Slightly Disorganized is being a little hypocritical, but she beat me to it!

Boo said...

wooo-weee! I am never bored around here...

I think go brunette. Change is always good, especially a hair color change in the winter.

Yes, there MUST be a cut off point. End of story.

gifts for dad:
-guaranteed to make him cry--a pic of you as a little girl with him, framed and matted.
-guaranteed to make him smile--home brewing kit, a brew tour, something alcohol-related
-guaranteed to make him feel suave--a smoking jacket :)

gifts for bro & sis-in-law:
-home--nice iPod speaker set
-to share--tickets to theater/burlesque/opera/musical etc.
-for fun--Waitress DVD (it comes with a bunch of pie recipes)

(yeah, these suggestions are a bit hokey, but i'm a sucker for cheese.)

Tony banged her.

Thor. Is Thor Greek? No, damn. My dog is Isis, but that's Egyptian. hmm, Hera or Hades.

Redhead said...

rs27: Dude, you're a sick, sick man.

butch: NOT helping.

boo: What is with my readers and their enjoyment of me getting yelled at (which admittedly is a weekly occurrence).

I'm also a HUGE fan of the sappy/hokey gift (with my family, and ONLY with my family, I'm just a big softie). I like the picture idea - can I get that done in a day or two? I need to call my mother.

Yeah, Tony totally banged her.

I love Thor - don't think he's Greek but...well, maybe. Anyone around here know a lot about Greek mythology? Still, good suggestion.

onthevirg said...

Jack, just...wow.

Thor = Not Greek. It's Norse.

And Slighty, Red's bitchy?! Ghezus. You dating this guy or something?

Slightly Disorganized said...

negative virg. I just found her cut down to be unnecessary.

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

did i just witness a blog break-up?