Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Short Thoughts – I Have A Long Day Ahead of Me

(Note before I begin: I’m a little cranky today – don’t know why. You might detect some of this surliness in my writing. Live with it.)

So I had some time to kill yesterday, and I ended up at a blog that I’d never read before. However, as it turned out, the actual post I ended up reading was written by Yes, I’ll Have Another (who comments here from time to time). Anyway, I read what he wrote. And I had some thoughts – some strong thoughts. Unfortunately (or fortunately considering my mood), I have like 12 meetings today, so I don’t really have time to tear him limb from limb over his presumptuous and annoying Male Point System (or whatever the hell that post was).

Still, let me cover three main points before I run off to my first meeting of the day (why is this asshole 20 minutes early? It’s rude to show up late for a meeting AND it’s rude to show up obscenely early! Don’t these people know anything!). Deep breaths…okay:

1) Any man who truly believes that the woman he’s with is trying to score ‘points’ with him is delusional – it’s the other way around bucko (it’s your job to impress her). Having said that, if you want to date a chick who will embarrass herself to get another date with you, be my guest (just don’t mind the fact that everyone you know will be laughing at you two behind your back). So if it makes you feel cooler to judge a chick by the drinks she orders or whether she’s willing to go down on you while you’re drinking a beer, all the more power to you. But if I ever date a guy who I think for one minute is tallying up every little thing I do, well…let’s just say that’s not the guy who will ever be earning (or deserving of) the much talked about and sought after Impromptu Blow Job.

2) For every guy out there who is psyched when his girl buys him a lapdance – good luck. You just keep telling yourself she’s a keeper (I’m sure she’s trying to convince herself the same thing about you).

3) '+1,000 for every dinner she cooks that actually tastes delicious'? Gentlemen (and ladies), if you’re with someone who actually put the effort into making you a meal, THAT’S worth 1,000 points. I’ve choked down a lot of crappy home cooked meals in my time, and I appreciated EVERY SINGLE ONE. So get off your fucking high horse, if you want a great homemade meal, make it yourself. (I’m assuming if you’re going to pass judgment on someone else’s cooking you must be able to do better – right?)

Oh, and I’m not even touching the points for anal. What is with all the jackasses out there today? Who ever told men that women just want to settle down – and that any guy will do? And how did this false impression of women as desperate translate into every man suddenly thinking that HE was the answer to our prayers? What the fucking hell?

Alright, I’m done venting for the day. Thoughts? Anyone?


Jack Cobra said...

You realize that much of what he wrote was in a joking manner and shouldn't be taken literally, right? That's about the twentieth variation of that post I've seen.

Still, even if you aren't writing down points in your journal (and you shouldn't be), you are keeping track of the nice/bad things that your partner is doing. Both men and women do this. Tons of good things = good times, tons of bad things = time to get out of Dodge.

Don't women want a man with confidence? If so, shouldn't he believe that he's the answer for you, even when it's way early in the relationship? When I used to go on first dates I didn't think, "man I hope she's the one." But, I did think, "I'm going to make this her best date ever." Not good?

Yes, I'll Have Another said...

Oh, Red. Hahaha. Really?...I mean, really?

If you can't find the humor in a stupid blog post then, well, I don't know.

And Jack is right. It's not a man's job to impress the woman, and it's not the woman's job to impress the man. It's all about compatibility.

And anal.

Slightly Disorganized said...

I agree. While I understand your outrage at being objectified with the anal and all, only part of his post was dead serious. You know, probably the part about doing nice things for your significant other.

Oh and I know YIHA personally, and let me just say: TOP NOTCH man. He's not all anal and road head. Believe me.

So you can be pissed off about it or you can laugh at the stereotypical things that are important to men: boobs, booze and blowjobs.

I choose to laugh.

Redhead said...

jack: Yes, I realize he was joking (I'm not completely devoid of a sense of humor - how long have you been reading me anyway?), the problem - I'm in a bad mood today! Does no one understand the meaning of the word cranky? Now let me vent in peace - it doesn't always have to make sense!

yes, i'll have another: Oh good God - calm down (yes I saw the humor, I just wasn't in the mood for it). I'm sorry if everyone's upset that I ripped into you - I always realized the sentiment behind what you were saying was innocent (sort of) and kidding, I just didn't necessarily like the way you presented it (oh, and I was cranky - jesus people, take the warning at the beginning of the post for what it is...a warning).

slightly disorganized: I never said he was a bad man (I'll be the first to admit I don't know him), I simply said that what he'd written rubbed me the wrong way because of my mood and...you know what, I'm pretty sure you've gotten the point on what I meant by now with my other responses - let's save everyone the headache of me going on.

Everyone, a short reminder: I'm a bitch under normal circumstances, put me in a bad mood and I'm...more of a bitch. Never take what I say personally, and I promise not to take what you say personally. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with a REALLY hot british dude that just can't wait.

Cheese said...

hmmmm....I see the pot is calling the kettle black here....

um, your blind date? that was like, last Thursday, right? While you didn't expressly (and sarcastically) assign point values, you did knock him for certain "aspects" that he's shown.

Now in my defense the guy was described to me as: Tall (like 6’), cute, brown hair, dimples, VERY successful, and nice.

Now...I'm not an expert here, but it sounds like he got some kudos, points, gold stars, thumbs up, or whatever for being all of the above, right?

So what's the difference in that and saying "this girl rocks - she cooks (well), has ridiculous wit, reminds me when my sister's birthday is, AND gives head during timeouts!!!"?

Yes, I'll Have Another said...

I wasn't bent out of shape at all I just...you know what? Forget it.

Moving on.

(Oh, and thanks for reminding me.

+1,000 Points: For being British.)

Redhead said...

cheese: While I appreciate the fact that you don't feel I'm capable of recognizing sarcasm (although I'd like to point out that recognizing it wasn't the problem) - and I'm sure I've had more than my fair share of hypocritical moments as you've pointed out - can we just LET IT GO now. God, everyone (me included) is so touchy today.

yes, i'll have another: Thank you! I still think you should stick to things a person can control though - accents and looks don't make the list.

Jack Cobra said...

-8,000 points: Being cranky and making others pay for it.

rs27 said...

I love when Red rips on something. This is great.

+100 points for being feisty and starting fights.

Cheese said...

I thought the whole "Thoughts? Anyone?" line was....i dunno...asking people for their opinion...

Maybe next time you vent you can not allow comments if you don't really want them...

Slightly Disorganized said...

haha! I freaking love it. drama drama everywhere!

*sits in corner watching trainwreck that is blog comment war*

Redhead said...

People, I'm running in and out of meetings and you keep yelling at me! OK:

jack: a) I'm always cranky and make others pay for it - are you new here?, and b) shockingly, it DOESN'T bother me that you just gave me -8,000 points; hmmm, I wonder why?

rs27: Awww, someone's being nice to me, that's...weird.

cheese: You're right - my bad. What I meant to say was "cheese, I think some parts of your argument are good, some parts of your argument are bad, and some parts I've already addressed and don't want to have to address again - but feel free to leave comments to your heart's content...I don't mind redundancy."

Ah shit, I'm being a bitch again aren't I?

Redhead said...

OK everyone, continue to beat up on my - we need to keep slightly disorganized entertained.

Slightly Disorganized said...

jolly good times redhead! thank you.

Yes, I'll Have Another said...

Red: I still think you should stick to things a person can control though - accents and looks don't make the list.

Clearly you've never dated a Lebanese woman because, let me tell you....

MCBias said...

Eh, I actually don't have much to say about this. Wait, that's never stopped me before...Ok, about 1), why is an even exchange such a taboo thing in female/male relationships? I'd like the woman I'm with to be impressed by my efforts to please her...but I'd also like her to try to impress me too. Judging by both blog entries, I've clearly have not been reading the right blogs or laddie/women's magazines. What a pity (not). I'll just stay here like the selfless, wonderful, loving, sensitive man I am, waiting for...(breaks into laughter) oh, ok, I couldn't finish the comment with a straight face. There's nothing like playing the innocent babe in the basket routine during a rant war.

MCBias said...

Oh, and Cobra--spot on. I've seen variations on this list before (Captain Caveman), only usually it's not written in a quite-so-patronizing paint-by-my-numbers manner. But really, did you try to make it their best date ever right away? I believe in not showing your best cards right away, date-wise. What if you don't want a second date, but you were so impressive she won't leave you alone?

Jack Cobra said...

What if I 'hold back' and she doesn't want a second date because I didn't do enough? I think I'd regret that if I really liked her.

I'm man enough to be honest and walk away if it comes to that MCB. I'm not going to hold back just in case I don't like her as much as she likes me. Why would you want to hold back and not 'bring it' every date*?

*Keep in mind I'm not saying to fly her to Paris for Dinner or whatever every date, but you can be nice and do the things that will make the date a good one.

MCBias said...

Jack--yeah, that's more of what I'm talking about, going so far out on the first date that you have no room for improvement on the second date. You have to save some features for later on. I'm certainly not saying show up in mismatched clothes at McDonalds because if she forgives you for that she'll forgive you for anything, ha. (Although...no, kidding, kidding :-p)

rs27 said...

Ok, so this is what I learned today.

Redhead hates everyone, especially anything that has to do with giving out points.

Slightly Disorganized may or may not have only one eye.

Yes I'll Have Another likes anal and head, maybe in that order.

And Mc Bias and Jack Cobra are bff.

My job is done here.

Good Day.

Jack Cobra said...

I guess I described that incorrectly if that's what you got from it. I'll just go ahead and keep the info to myself.

MCBias said...

Um, no, jack cobra and I are definitely not bff; come on, didn't you see the Thanksgiving post?