Friday, December 21, 2007

Happy Holidays!

Hmmm, so it’s occurred to me that I should write a little something today before we all drop off the face of the earth for the next week or so (am I the ONLY person who’s planning on working next week?). Anyway, ummm, let’s try to keep this post controversy free okay (something I apparently suck at)? Good intentions everyone!

On my wish list for the holiday season:

Some sleeping late;
Some heavy drinking;
Copious eating of food made primarily of butter;
Relaxing cuddle time with my parents’ dog;
Relaxing cuddle time with my cat (not in the same room as the dog because…well, my cat has the disposition of her mother. In other words: She can get ornery – in her case this translates into tormenting the dog…to be clear, I don’t torment the dog; even I’m not that horrible);
Some bonding time with my sister (who, sadly, is back together with her boyfriend)…yeah;
Some bonding time with my parents;
Getting a handle on the No Presents for Anyone Yet thing BEFORE Christmas day and WITHOUT too much stress (ed. note: This is a pipe dream);
Catching up with some friends back home in the 2 days I’m going to be there (ed. note: This probably won’t happen either, but I can hope);
Going to see the movie Juno with John – we hadn’t spoken in a while and just caught up on the phone like a week ago – I’m excited to see both him and the film;
More heavy drinking;
Having a few days in the office without meetings next week – score!;
Baking – I’ve been jonesing to get my Martha Stewart on, and the huge kitchen at my parents’ house is the perfect place to do it. (Vote: Are we thinking the classic sugar cookie or something else?);
Receiving my annual present of a Yankee Ticket Plan from my siblings (since I don’t get the actual tickets for another couple of months, I always get a really poorly written poem from my sister on Christmas morning – so I have something to open. I can’t wait, it’s always a REALLY bad poem!);
Receiving my annual Starbucks gift card in my stocking – coffee is NEVER a bad present;
Seeing the looks on my family members’ faces when they open the gifts I gave them…assuming I ever get off my lazy ass and actually get them something. Fuck!;
Trying on my skinny jeans next weekend and realizing they’re REALLY fucking tight and that I need to cut back on the eating of pure crap…wait, this a wish list, so…um…NOT trying on my skinny jeans next weekend and realizing…;
Yet more heavy drinking;
Just seeing everyone that I love and assuring myself that they’re healthy and happy.

What is everyone else looking forward to/wishing for? No really, I want to hear. I care. I do. Ummm…promise.

Happy holidays everyone!

22 comments:

GiveEmHellHarry said...

That sounded like a very sincere request. I am looking forward to having a few days off finally, actually talking to my wife for the first time in two weeks, Christmas morning brunch with my parents, Christmas Eve dinner with the in-laws, sitting around for two days watching football and drinking myself into a stupor, and peace among my fellow man.

And presents. Lots of fucking presents.

Mr. Thursday said...

Juno is really, really good. As for the baking, don't forget to share. My mother and aunt go nuts baking on the Saturday before Christmas every year, and it's damn pleasurable experience to walk into a house smelling of hundreds of fresh baked cookies. God, I love the two of them. Incidentally, the very best Christmas cookies are German Crisps. Sure, it's an assload of work chopping up all those little candied cherries, but it's worth it. I eat those by the dozen.

Things anticipated/hoped for in the Thursday household:

Christmas dinner. It's the same thing every year, and it's amazing every year. Big, fantastic roast, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad. And my aunt's apple pie with homemade ice cream for dessert.

Just a few moments of quiet time: between Christmas and Christmas Eve, our house is a revolving door for about 50 people. If we can wittle that down to a half-dozen at any point, it's a huge victory.

Enjoy that poem, though. Christmas poems are always The Best.

Jack Cobra said...

I have two, actually three, wishes for this Christmas (not in any order)

1. Safe traveling weather for everyone, 2. A good showing by me to my gf's family, and 3. I'm looking to piss off my sister..

Yep, that's right. You know how on 'The Godfather' Talia Shire is just...I'll go with retarded? That's my (older) sister in a nutshell. For X-Mas I bought her an 'underlying' shitty gift. It's shitty because it's a monogrammed welcome mat, it's 'underlying' because there is a lighthouse on it and she likes them...If someone got it for me I would immediately set it on fire. I'm hoping she 'gets' that it's a shit gift and calls me on it. That will give me the opening to ream her until she cries* and storms out.

Besides that instance, my family gets along really well.

*I am forbidden, by my parents, from doing it unless she says something first.

Redhead said...

harry: I'm looking forward to you getting a break too - just reading your blog has been stressing me out lately.

mr. thursday: Candied cherries? Well, I'm not a huge fan, but I'm more than willing to spend 2 days doing nothing but drinking and baking (yes, I'm really that much of a nerd) - so what else goes in German cookies?

The apple pie with homemade ice cream - wow, just hearing about that made my mouth water. So...jealous.

Christmas poems are really only good when they're written really quickly by someone with no talent - they have to rhyme and hopefully make little to no sense. Yeah, they are The Best.

jack: Dude! And after I spent all day yesterday thinking you were a nice guy! You are NOT to try to make your sister cry! Unless there's a story here that you are willing to share (like yesterday) I call the Family Is Sacred card and tell you to apologize and find her a nice gift in the next couple of days.

Oh, but good luck impressing the gf's family.

Jack Cobra said...

She's overstepped her boundaries a little too much this year. Caused some arguments that didn't need to be caused, including one about a dead family member. Gossips so much that I won't take a phone call from her......uses her children to make my parents feel bad....etc.

TK said...

Making it to and from Philly in one piece (with the wife, all our gifts, and two dogs). Having a ball at my in-laws Xmas party, while not losing my patience with my mother-in-law. Seeing and consoling a friend in Philly who just (a week ago) lost his dad.

Eating my motherfucking face off.

Mr. Thursday said...

Redhead, darling, for you, I have emailed my mom, and she's passed along her recipe:

1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
3 eggs, slightly beaten
Rind and juice from 1 lemon
Enough flour to knead dough
Red and green candied cherries, chopped into small pieces

Mix everything (except cherries) together, and knead. Form into a sort of sheet, about 1.5 inches thick (though I don't think it matters too much). Refridgerate for 12 or more hours.

Roll the dough out very thin and cut out cookies with a shot glass (this, I'm sure, well help you accomplish your drinking goals).

Put some candied cherries on each one, and bake for about 14 minutes at 350 degrees. Obviously, it helps to put your shot-glass sized cookies onto the cookie sheet before you add the cherries.

The whole process is kind've a pain in the ass--lots and lots of cherry choppin', but they're my favorite damn cookies. They account for about 60% of my enjoyment of the holiday season, since my mother refuses to make them any other day of the year.

Mr. Thursday said...

And, and for the record, I, too, don't care for the candied cherries, but something about baking them makes them less unbearably sweet and far more delicious.

Boo said...

oh oh! sugar cookies with pistachios. it is heaven! and if you're feeling really saucy, sugar cookies with pistachios, dark chocolate chips, and coconut. i totally just made that up, but i'm totally going to make that tomorrow! glee!

happy holidays red. i hope you and yours have a blast.

Redhead said...

jack: Grumble, grumble. OK, since I don't know the story I will defer to your judgment - still, before you write off a family member I will urge you to remember the good times growing up...assuming there were any. Either way have fun this holiday season!

Damn, I'm like a Christmas card today.

tk: Yay to the eating! Spoil your adorable doggies for Christmas. And good luck consoling your friend - I don't know what it is about the holidays this year, but it seems like a lot of bad things have been happening to people I know. Anyway, you get a have fun this holiday season too!

mr. thursday: I think I may love you now (but not in a creepy stalker way...I promise...really). Well the dough looks awesome - basically a lemon cookie. Then you top it with sugar (in fruit form, which makes them...I don't know...healthy?). Sounds good to me; thank your mom for me because I'm making these for my family! (Oh, and they really don't seem like any more work than sugar cookies that need to be rolled and cut out.) Yay to anything that requires the use of a shot glass! And Mr. Thursday, an extra special have fun this holiday season to you!

Seriously everyone, I'm so saccharine sweet with my good cheer and exclamation points I annoying even myself - now I finally know how you all must feel; it's a Christmas miracle! (I am so bored at work right now - can you tell?)

Redhead said...

boo: Happy holidays to you too!!! Wow, you just said the magic words of 'dark chocolate' and 'coconut.' Those are totally going on the cookie list. Hmmm, I'm really, really hungry right now. Boo, you're awesome.

rs27 said...

Everyone's happy today? Is this the right place?

*checking around*

Well I'll be stuck in LA for the holidays so everyone have a safe one.

Sugar cookies are the bomb. Double True.

P.S. I'm not a sick man, I refuse to believe this.

Redhead said...

rs27: I know, this place is like...um, everyone else's blog (?) now.

So I was just reading your blog and hmmm...how to say this nicely...just how short are you? I need feet and inches here.

rs27 said...

I'm 5'9. 5'9 and a half on a good day. 5'11 with fishtank platforms on.

Redhead said...

Fishtank platforms add more than 2 inches my friend - trust me. Hmmm, 5'9 isn't actually that bad (I was expecting worse). However that does make the chick you were talking up almost 6' tall, which...isn't short. She's probably super self-concious about it and that's why she looked unhappy. Be the bigger man here (or...um...you know what I mean - shit, I'm ruining the good vibe around here with my trademark obnoxiousness again) and call her anyway.

toadely said...

I'll be sharing your work-woes. I'll be the only one in pretty much all next week. Someone's gotta drive this train!

Redhead said...

Cool, email me - I'm going to be so bored SOMEONE'S going to have to entertain me. (Now aren't you regretting telling me that.)

Happy Holidays!

GiveEmHellHarry said...

Stop with the short person bashing! I can't believe you people! How dare you make comments about people under 5'9"!

Ah, fuck it. I cannot pull off angry indignation. I'm just not good at it. I thought I'd give it a shot so we wouldn't go a day without someone pissed off at Red.

Merry Christmas!

Redhead said...

Wow, it's days like today where I really appreciate how Blogger emails me every time a person leaves a comment - God I'm bored and have nothing to do. Anyway...

I'm not bashing short people, I was simply responding to something I read on rs27's site. Oh, and speaking of which, if it makes you feel better I seem to have rubbed at least one person the wrong way today (what is wrong with me - it's like I have some sick, twisted gift where I piss people off without trying). I left some comment on rs27's site in what I thought was an affectionate tone (while still ripping on him, of course) and I got a 'reer' in response from one of his other commenters. Now either that means something about a catfight (?) or something about my ass...just spelled wrong. Either way: Damn I'm talented.

rs27 said...

Red- She wasn't talking about you, she was talking to me with the reer comment. You should read my blog more often, you would have gottent the joke. Haha. I find it funny that you think you made her mad.

Sorry, but you haven't pissed anyone off today yet.

I'm going to call her anyway, its just that the whole height thing is a deterent. You know what I'm sayin'?

And I will be the only one in my BUILDING, next week. Unreal.

I wish I was a little bit taller and a baller.

VA Gent said...

Red,

Peppermint brownies always bring a smile.

Have a great Christmas with the family.

D

Manny said...

Merry Christmas!