Thursday, December 27, 2007

Ah Sh*t

I blame my sister’s boyfriend. Call it a copout on my part if you want, but I’m still blaming him. Why? Well, the Dickhead came and spent Christmas with us (my mom didn’t tell me until I got off the train in Jersey – I think she knew I wouldn’t have come home if I’d been told earlier). Anyway I was stuck in my parents’ house with this dude for the holidays. And apparently I needed to be polite or something (you know, because I love my sister). Which I was (I can pretend if I have to – shut up, I can), because I’m awesome. Anyway, this ended up being very trying for me (as you can imagine), and as it turns out (apparently) stress makes me stupid.

Oh, and drunk. Stress prompts me to get drunk. (Who am I to argue with nature?)

Uh, just so you know that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Because…well…ah shit. There’s just no good way to say this. Um…fuck it. Here goes:

John and I didn’t end up going to see Juno (as previously mentioned, I was in need of alcohol after dealing with the Dickhead); we went to a bar instead. Where I drank. And drank. And drank. (And of course – this should come as no surprise to those of you who know me around here – I complained.)

Quick sidenote: Yet another reason why New York is the best city anywhere – practically no one drives. And there are a ton of bars here. See how that works out well? Because you know what doesn’t go together? Yeah, drinking and driving. And you know what you have to do in most other places when you want to go out to a bar and drink? Exactly, you need to drive there (and, coincidentally, home). This is both a rant (where’s the logic there?) and an explanation of the situation – ie. I wasn’t driving so I got drunk, John was driving so he didn’t. He was sober. Is everyone following me so far?

Yeah, who wants to guess what happened?

Yup. Just…yup.

We ended up making out OUTSIDE up against his car. (Yes, that would be PDA people – I claim the drunk excuse and DON’T want to discuss it.)

Now that I’m sober and FAR away from Dickhead, I’m feeling more than a little freaked out by the whole John thing. I have no idea how to deal with it (besides avoidance, I’m awesome at avoidance). Thoughts? Suggestions?

You know, I think I already know what my New Year’s wish next week is going to be: In 2008, I’d love to end the year with the same number of friends as I started it with (this whittling down I’ve been doing isn’t a positive thing).

Anyway, how was everyone else’s holiday? Good? Any stories you want to share (that don’t include groping your best friend in a parking lot)?


Anonymous said...

Groping? How aggressive was this PDA? Mine was great. If you don't count me getting really drunk on the 23rd at my friends house for a birthday party and then proceeding to tell my wife that the baby Jesus would never allow her in the town of Bethlehem. Don't ask me where the hell that came from. I shouldn't drink that much either. Hope your New Year's is better.

Jack Cobra said...

It's obvious this whole "Let's just be friends" thing with this dude isn't working out. Does it ever with guy/girls trying to be friends? I say no, unless both parties are ugly.

I'd say at this point you are either required to date him/do him, or find someone who will date him/do him instead of you.

MCBias said... know, I followed that link for John, and hasn't a similar situation happened before? In that you get drunk, he's still sober, and all of a sudden a romantic invitation occurs when you're at your weakest?

He likes you (or lusts you, or loves you--whatever it is) and is working on you every chance he gets. Eventually, because you are friends, he'll wear down your resistance if you continue seeing him a lot. Either you make it feel more legitimate by formally dating him now, you avoid him, or you take a stand and say "I'm off the market to you. Quit the friendship or get used to it."

And, um...that means I'm agreeing with Cobra again. Argh! Quick, to disagree on something! I think guys/girls can be friends, as long as there's an obvious barrier there. For example, the girl lives 3 states over, and neither of you want to do a long-distance deal; or she's Hindu, you're Muslim, and thus neither of you would want to marry because of religious differences; etc.

rs27 said...

I agree with mcbias about the whole drunk/sober make out sesh thing.

I don't agree with the whole guys/girls can't be friends things. It all depends on the barriers you put up with each other. I'm cool with all my "girl friends". Wait according to Jack Cobra I'm now ugly. Awesome.

You're only way out here is avoidance. You're the Babe Ruth of avoidance. This should be no problem.

TK said...

Well, you know how to keep things interesting, I'll give you that.

Um... considering that you DID make out with him, is there any chance that you're actually interested? I mean, why would you do it otherwise?

If not, then I think mcbias is right. Time to address it and tell him he can either stop trying and accept friendship, or he needs to find a new friend.

Redhead said...

harry: It wasn't crazy aggressive, but there was touching. And it went on for a while. And we weren't exactly shy about it. I repeat: Ah Shit.

By the way, you sound like you were AWESOME on the 23rd - it's random moments like those that make drinking worthwhile.

jack: I've set him up lots of times, but nothing ever really came of it (hit the link to find out other's theories on why). As for dating him...I really don't think I want to.

mcb: Yeah, I'm going to have to take the blame on this one - sorry, I wasn't totally clear on the sequence of events in the post. I um...I may have been the one to initiate this makeout session (John's been good about keeping things just friends for the last few months). I know, I know - what was I thinking? I guess it just seemed like a good idea at the time (even though I've drunk with him before and NEVER kissed him), and he certainly didn't seem to mind. And I was kind of enthusiastic during the whole thing (I claim months of celibacy for that one). Either way, I'm going to come across as a bipolar hypocrite if I say what you just suggested I say.

Any other suggestions?

Redhead said...

Seriously, how did you two sneak in while I was responding to the other commenters? Anyway...

rs27: I'm the 'Babe Ruth of avoidance.' Hey, thanks dude! Now it seems I'm also a huge slut too! Awesome.

tk: Have you never been drunk and thought 'This is a good idea' even though if you REALLY thought about it you would realize it was, in fact, a BAD idea? Yeah, that was me the other night. Um...look above to see that I was (unfortunately) the instigator, so that needs to be factored into all advice from now on. And as for liking him - look, he's great, good looking, sweet, etc. etc. I just don't want to end up with him for the rest of my life, and that's pretty much where I feel he wants this to end up. He's just better off as a friend and NOTHING else. (It's a little late for me to be saying this of course, but hey, I'm a moron!)

rs27 said...

I'm always here for good advice.

If you were a slut you would be doing it..


MCBias said...

Redhead, that is tough, if you started things. That does take option 3 off the table. I guess you disappoint him now, or disappoint him months/years into an LTR when you just can't take it anymore. For his sake, try now rather than's tough though, I hope for the best.

Redhead said...

rs27: Well that's a relief - depressingly true, but a relief.

mcb: What the fuck dude? Way to make me feel better about the situation; if I wanted to feel helpless and shitty I would have called Christine.

MCBias said...

Look, there is no "better" to the situation, at least not yet. But you have a great trifecta of make-out excuses: old friend you hadn't seen for a while, you're sentimental b/c it's Christmas, and you were drunk. If you really want to keep him as a friend, and don't want an LTR, then use those excuses, joke that it was his Christmas present and won't be repeated, and hopefully he won't start pressuring you again.

Manny said...

Wow, THAT was an eventful Christmas. I thought getting an air rifle was the shit. Turns out that you + stress + booze = tonsil hockey. Anyway, Happy New Year (can't WAIT to see how your NYE goes).

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CresceNet said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Redhead said...

mcb: Yeah, I'm going to tell him I was his Christmas present, that shouldn't fuck things up more than they already are.

You know what? Screw it - I'll do it.

manny: Ah manny, I can always count on you to be sympathetic.

As for the final two which I am deleting (I only delete spam) - what the hell? WAs I put on some sort of junk commenting list?

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

i personally don't find anything wrong with groping (or more) my best friend. but then i'm weird.