If you ever want to test how cool a person is, I suggest playing them the Sublime song Date Rape. It’s on 40 oz. to Freedom. And while the song is undeniably offensive – in the best way possible – I guarantee it will tell you within a few minutes whether you’re dealing with a loser or not. (It’s all about the sense of humor.)
The first time I heard Date Rape, I had the classic reaction. I was talking to a friend of my then-boyfriend, and I wasn’t really paying attention to the music. Then it started to filter in, and I stopped talking mid-sentence to really listen. My mouth dropped open, and I didn’t move or say a word until the song was over. And when it was, I almost didn’t know how to react. I mean, what the hell? Did I really just hear that?
And then I started laughing. That had to be one of the craziest songs ever – and I fucking loved it! Immediately I told then-boyfriend to play it again. That (of course) meant I was cool – it’s always important for boyfriend’s to realize this as soon as possible. It also meant he was cool for playing it – and he was in a lot of ways (except for that whole sleeping with a stripper thing).
Anyway, I’m getting off topic. What I was saying was that Date Rape made me probably 10% horrified and 90% entertained/amused/fascinated. Basically, the awesomeness of Sublime spoke to the awesomeness in me.
So that’s how I judge people in my mind now. I ask myself if they would pass the Date Rape test. (That last sentence sounded really bad.)
Anyway, let’s just say that I went out with a bunch of people on Saturday night who wouldn’t have passed the test. More on that tomorrow.