Let’s keep this short and sweet (for a change). Here’s an update at on where things stand today:
-It seems I slept with a mosquito last night. Now the bites are itching like a bitch – one behind my left knee, one on my left wrist, two on my right ankle, and the mother of them all right between my shoulder blades – in fact, I think I just threw out a shoulder trying to scratch that last one. If I catch that little fucker in my apartment again, I’m going to kill it twice.
-I have a new commercial that makes me want to hurt someone. It’s that Avis commercial for their GPS system – the one that’s almost constantly playing on ESPN (so many of you have probably seen it). You know the one: There’s this loser driving, and the GPS automated woman comes on and tells him there’s traffic ahead. He’s then so overcome with appreciation that he begins to list everything she’s ever done for him – like finding him a great Chinese restaurant – and this all leads up to his telling the fucking COMPUTER IN HIS CAR that he’s in love with her. And, to top off the skin chilling horror, this annoying song ‘Turn Around’ comes on and plays. You know what I say to this piece of shit commercial? From now on, I will go out of my way to never use Avis and will recommend that all of my friends do the same. Advertising at its best my friends.
-Well that didn’t take long. Um, so it seems I have a crush on someone who is not my boyfriend. Now before you call me a whore (or after, whatever), let me explain. This crush is not a new thing. You see, in New York there exists this thing that I like to call a train buddy: A person who gets on the train at the same station as you, gets off the train at the same station as you, and seems to be on the same schedule as you. So, that basically means you see this person (who you’ve never spoken to and don’t really know), almost every day. And you get used to seeing them.
As it turns out, my train buddy is a hot guy. (Shocker.) And I am VERY attracted to him. (I know, I know, I need help, blah, blah, blah.) And while I still have never talked to him, I don’t really think of him as a stranger – I see him too often for that. He’s more like my own personal eye candy that I share glances of acknowledgement with every morning. But today…today, he smiled at me. And my stomach fluttered.
Now you may be thinking: A smile? Are we back in high school? Well…yup, I guess we are. Because I melted. And after all the ignoring I’ve gotten from my train buddy in the past – except for the glances of acknowledgement each morning, he’s always essentially ignored me (which intrigues me no end) – I couldn’t believe the sparks.
The story of what happened is pretty boring – we got on the same train like we always do, and we were standing on opposite sides of the car facing each another. But when I glanced up at him our eyes met, and instead of looking away he held my eyes for a long beat before giving me this shy smile. And that was all it took. I was gone. I now officially have a crush on my train buddy – it was that easy.