F*ck It

Let’s go through my week so far, shall we? Good:

-I am officially, totally, and completely broken up with NY Guy. I don’t want to go into the details or anything (even in my own mind), so all I’m going to do is give you a 3 word synopsis of the actual breakup. Ready? Good:

It was ugly.

-In a related story, I’m now off relationships – for at least a little while. What does that mean? Well, for one thing it means that Tattoo Guy is getting no more than three dates out of me (what – I’m not dead), and then he’s hitting the road. It also means that my mom is going to be pissed. But to me it means that I’m just going to relax and enjoy my singledom (is that a word?). I need some rest people, and honestly – except for the obvious physical benefits of being in a relationship – I much prefer being single. I am not one of those girls who can’t stand being alone and jumps from boyfriend to boyfriend (to avoid spending any real time relying on myself) – I’d fucking shoot myself if I was. So…um…FYI.

-The subways all over Manhattan were down yesterday thanks to 3 inches or rain in a half-hour’s time (oh, and apparently a tornado or two). Being that I live uptown, my office is in Soho, it was hot as hell yesterday - and the city’s transportation system had deteriorated into one big clusterfuck - I never made it into work. I did however get to spend the entire day on my computer at home trying to put out fires (I’m talking metaphorical fires for the morons out there) over email. Ever try to yell at DHL about a lost package over email? Yeah, it’s completely pointless – the very definition of ‘an exercise in futility.’ Now why didn’t I just use my phone you ask? Why didn’t I call them up and demand to speak to a human being? Well, thanks to a little thing I like to call My Life Sucks, my cell phone chose yesterday to crap out on me. So I had no way of contacting anyone in any real way. (I feel like I need a drink even now - I had a few yesterday - just thinking about that.)

-On Tuesday I got the fun job of firing this really young, really sweet, and TOTALLY incompetent editor that we had working on a special project for us. And…it sucked. I mean, she clearly deserved to be fired (honestly, she had to be the most half-assed worker I’ve ever seen – and I write a blog while I’m at work), but the actual act of firing her – someone who has done nothing but frustrate and piss me off for weeks now – was still a complete downer. (Oh, and now I have all of two days to find a replacement for her – FUCK.)

-Well, I’ve officially been taken off of Christine’s Match.com search –sorry guys. It seems that I committed a huge no-no when I replied to one of her admirers with a rather succinct and (in my opinion) accurate assessment of his character. Want to know what I wrote? Cool, let me just make sure I get the wording exactly right…OK, here it is:

“You’re a douchebag.”

Yeah…that um….that didn’t go over so well. (Although what the fuck was Christine thinking when she asked me to go through her Match.com emails the day after I’d gone through one of the uglier breakups in the history of mankind? I’m only taking so much responsibility here.) Anyway, things really went bad for me when Douchebag replied to Christine with a rather long, mean (could he have overreacted more?), and whiny email. And since Christine wasn’t aware that I had instigated this at the time (I meant to give her a heads up – I swear), she got pissed and reported this guy to Match. He then was notified, and in retaliation he reported her.

THEN she told me what was going on and I explained things…

So…yeah, I’m off the case. It’s probably for the best – I’m in no shape to be running ANYONE’S love life right now. (Although in my defense, it was probably WAY past time someone told Douchebag what a prick he was.) Still…my bad.

-On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being You’re Great and 1 being You’re Fucked, where do you think my karma is right now? Never mind, don’t answer that.