Thursday, August 9, 2007

F*ck It

Let’s go through my week so far, shall we? Good:

-I am officially, totally, and completely broken up with NY Guy. I don’t want to go into the details or anything (even in my own mind), so all I’m going to do is give you a 3 word synopsis of the actual breakup. Ready? Good:

It was ugly.

-In a related story, I’m now off relationships – for at least a little while. What does that mean? Well, for one thing it means that Tattoo Guy is getting no more than three dates out of me (what – I’m not dead), and then he’s hitting the road. It also means that my mom is going to be pissed. But to me it means that I’m just going to relax and enjoy my singledom (is that a word?). I need some rest people, and honestly – except for the obvious physical benefits of being in a relationship – I much prefer being single. I am not one of those girls who can’t stand being alone and jumps from boyfriend to boyfriend (to avoid spending any real time relying on myself) – I’d fucking shoot myself if I was. So…um…FYI.

-The subways all over Manhattan were down yesterday thanks to 3 inches or rain in a half-hour’s time (oh, and apparently a tornado or two). Being that I live uptown, my office is in Soho, it was hot as hell yesterday - and the city’s transportation system had deteriorated into one big clusterfuck - I never made it into work. I did however get to spend the entire day on my computer at home trying to put out fires (I’m talking metaphorical fires for the morons out there) over email. Ever try to yell at DHL about a lost package over email? Yeah, it’s completely pointless – the very definition of ‘an exercise in futility.’ Now why didn’t I just use my phone you ask? Why didn’t I call them up and demand to speak to a human being? Well, thanks to a little thing I like to call My Life Sucks, my cell phone chose yesterday to crap out on me. So I had no way of contacting anyone in any real way. (I feel like I need a drink even now - I had a few yesterday - just thinking about that.)

-On Tuesday I got the fun job of firing this really young, really sweet, and TOTALLY incompetent editor that we had working on a special project for us. And…it sucked. I mean, she clearly deserved to be fired (honestly, she had to be the most half-assed worker I’ve ever seen – and I write a blog while I’m at work), but the actual act of firing her – someone who has done nothing but frustrate and piss me off for weeks now – was still a complete downer. (Oh, and now I have all of two days to find a replacement for her – FUCK.)

-Well, I’ve officially been taken off of Christine’s search –sorry guys. It seems that I committed a huge no-no when I replied to one of her admirers with a rather succinct and (in my opinion) accurate assessment of his character. Want to know what I wrote? Cool, let me just make sure I get the wording exactly right…OK, here it is:

“You’re a douchebag.”

Yeah…that um….that didn’t go over so well. (Although what the fuck was Christine thinking when she asked me to go through her emails the day after I’d gone through one of the uglier breakups in the history of mankind? I’m only taking so much responsibility here.) Anyway, things really went bad for me when Douchebag replied to Christine with a rather long, mean (could he have overreacted more?), and whiny email. And since Christine wasn’t aware that I had instigated this at the time (I meant to give her a heads up – I swear), she got pissed and reported this guy to Match. He then was notified, and in retaliation he reported her.

THEN she told me what was going on and I explained things…

So…yeah, I’m off the case. It’s probably for the best – I’m in no shape to be running ANYONE’S love life right now. (Although in my defense, it was probably WAY past time someone told Douchebag what a prick he was.) Still…my bad.

-On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being You’re Great and 1 being You’re Fucked, where do you think my karma is right now? Never mind, don’t answer that.


onthevirg said...

- Sorry to hear about the fireworks when the break-up happened. Even though I gave you a bunch of shit. Really.

- That subway flooding thing sounds like it could have been mildly dangerous.

- Does this mean we get to hear hilarious resume stories a la TK? And for being such a self-professed hardass, what's the problem? You come across sounding...soft. Sounds like she had it coming.

- Good work. Way to play the nuclear weapon in Armageddon.

I'd have to say you're in solid 5 territory. Really, even though it seems like Shitsville right now in the big picture it's not all that bad. I mean, you've still got us right. Wait, that was supposed to sound reassuring. Or supportive. Or something. Instead I probably just made you put your head in the oven. Come back!

Dave said...


Believe it or not you are probably at a 6 or 7. You have to take of yourself before you can be cool with anyone else. The NY Guy had no chance if you were not ready. If he took it like a shit, then the hell with him. Be true to yourself.

The douchebag deserved it, without a doubt. It reminded me of a great statement from a playing partner in a meaningless final round of a golf tournament over twenty years ago. This other fellow was just being a real asshole and was way too serious given the situation. My cart mate finally had enough on about the 14th hole when he finallly declared directly to the jerk, " I am so glad there are people like you in the world because they make guys like me look good". I almost fell in the sand trap.

Hang in there and regroup. Life is too fucking short to do it halfway.

TK said...

avoiding eye contact & slowly... backing... away...

glassyarddog said...

Hold on, wasn't the first date with Tat Guy last night? What, no details??

Somehow, for some odd reason, I don't sense any karma related issues here. You're not in Schleprock related territory just yet.

Redhead said...

onthevirg: Wow, I know things are bad when you're being nice to me. As for resume stories - I have only until the beginning of next week to find someone; this is going to be a call in a favor type of thing.

dave: I can always count on you to give me the big picture. (Oh, and the story from the golf course - awesome.)

tk: Thanks for the support dude.

glassyarddog: You'll get details about the date MAYBE next week - although it's not like this is going to turn into a great love story (and I'm not shary all the dirty parts), so I can't imagine it'll be all that interesting. (But thanks for the karmic support - I'll take all I can get.)

TK said...

You want support, join a sewing circle.

I'm kidding, of course. I don't see where karma comes into play - you fired someone who is bad at their job. You broke up with someone you didn't want to be with. And you called a douchebag a douchebag.

I fail to see the problem. It sucks that those events seem to have occurred all together, all at once, but karmically speaking, I'd say you're good.

The only thing that'll fuck you on the next turn of the wheel is your being a Yankee fan.

Redhead said...

Yeah, because being a Sox fan is sooo much better.

Anonymous said...

I'd say that compared to douchbag you're still sweet on the the karma front.

TK said...

Yeah, because being a Sox fan is sooo much better.

Aw, I'm so glad we can agree on something. I appreciate your honesty and support.

Jack Cobra said...

I'm thinking you are at an 8 on the karma scale right you have that to look forward to.

I feel lucky that I've never been fired since I also write a blog from work. Then again, I do work for the gov't so...

As for the tattoo guy....don't get the clap.

Redhead said...

yoffi: Yeah, but that kind of comparison really only makes me the lesser of two evils - and in that scenario I'm still evil.

tk: You suck.

jack: The clap? Dude.

Jack Cobra said...

Sorry...League of Their Own was on like 14 times in the airport terminal this weekend as I waited for my flight.