Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Warning: Explicit

A note before I begin: This post is going to get explicit, hence the title. I can only imagine what Google searches will be coming my way thanks to this one, but what can I say – I had to share (it’s my curse).

Another note: Everything you will read below can literally be found at your local Barnes and Noble, so don’t even think about calling me dirty.

OK, so I’m not sure how many of you know this, but I like romance novels (shut up). Yes, on top of all the fine literature I read, I like a fair bit of trash thrown in for a rainy day. And trust me, there is some good trash out there. But lately I’ve noticed that some of this stuff has gotten a bit…graphic. Like ‘holy shit are you kidding me?’ graphic. And the one I just read – it’s a doozy. And no, it’s not marketed as porn. I believe the wording on the front of the book was "an erotic thriller.”

Let’s be clear: I didn’t even read that wording when I picked out the book. I also never read a synopsis of the book before picking it out. I literally chose it based purely on the title – it cracked me up, just cheesy/creepy enough to catch my attention. Seriously – I was online at barnesandnoble.com, and I was getting a few books for fun. I realized when I went to check out that I needed one more book to qualify for free shipping, and this is the one I ended up choosing. The end. I HONESTLY had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into. Having said that, I will definitely be getting more books by this author (this shit is too good to pass up). Whew, is it getting hot in here?

Anyway yeah, the book, Forbidden Pleasure, made me blush. Me…blush. Why, you ask? How bad can it be, you wonder? Well, guys…the book…it’s…it’s just…it’s just dirty guys. There’s no other way to say it. BUT, (weirdly) it did make me think of you. Why? Well, for some reason I’ve noticed that more than a few blogs have been talking about threesomes recently, and that’s pretty much all this book is about (oh, and a stalker – the “thriller” aspect). It seemed like some sort of sign that I should write about it.

So I’ve decided to give you guys a book report - Redhead style. With the dirty minds I know are out there, you need to know what kind of literature is available to you. And that’s my service dear readers – I’m making you aware. Educating you if you will. No, no need to thank me, it’s my pleasure. Anyway, on with the show:

(Oh, and if you guys end up liking this, we can discuss making my book reports a regular feature on the blog. But it would need to have a cool name, like…nope, I don’t do creative. You guys offer suggestions if you want.)

Book Title: Forbidden Pleasure
Redhead’s comments: No, that’s not a joke – that IS the title of the book.

Author: Lora Leigh
Redhead’s comments: She does not skimp on the dirty talk/graphic sex. Naturally, I’m now a huge fan.

Synopsis (from the publisher): People have heard fleeting rumors about The Club located just outside of Washington, D.C. Only its members know where men go when they want to indulge their desire to share their women with a carefully selected male partner.

John "Mac" McCoy resigned his membership from The Club when he married Keiley Hardin. Tempting and innocent, sweet and sexy, Mac knows that she would never accept his desire to share her with another man. However, Mac's fantasies of sharing his wife haunt his dreams. Then Jethro Riggs, Mac's best friend, arrives at her their home in Wyoming. Of all the men, it was Riggs whom Mac shared his women with. They shared the same views on pleasing women and a hunger to push the same boundaries. Slowly Mac and Riggs introduce Keiley to a pleasure she has never known.

Redhead’s comments: *Giggling* OK, so that sort of covers it. Mac marries this innocent little thing named Keiley, he gives up “ménages” and moves away from D.C. – where he was an FBI agent. His old partner (in many ways) Jethro, stays behind. Slowly Mac grows restless, wants to share his wife (who wouldn’t?), and he calls Jethro to come “join them” without asking his wife’s permission first (because why would he?). Jethro comes, much naughtiness ensues, the end. Oh and yes, there is a stalker thrown into the mix – very, very, very secondary in the book. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly nervous for any of these characters.

(Sidenote: How do you pronounce her name? Is it Keeley or Kiley? This question distracted me WAY too much while reading.)

Sex Scenes: Too numerous to count – no, I’m not exaggerating. There were a couple with just Mac and Keiley, a couple with just Jethro and Keiley, and MANY with the three of them. If you can imagine them doing it, they did it. You think some things are too dirty and out there to put in a book – you’re wrong. It’s in there, trust me. Still don’t believe me? OK, let’s give you an excerpt from the book – this is pretty much the tamest thing you’ll find in there (again, I’m not exaggerating).

Excerpt:
He tasted like the night. His cock felt like silk-encased iron, his balls drawn tight beneath it. And Keiley used every trick Mac had taught her to erode his control while Mac’s hands eased over her quivering body.

The fingers of one hand gripped the straining shaft, while she calmed his balls in the palm of her other, her fingers working over the straining flesh of each portion of his body. She licked beneath the head, then sucked him deep as she worked her tongue along the straining flesh. Blood was pumping, throbbing beneath the skin, making it steel-hard, sensitive.

“She has you.” Mac’s chuckle was rough. “Once that hot little mouth gets hold of you, you’re a goner.”

Jethro’s hands were in her hair, tightening, tugging.

“Spank her. Let me watch her ass blush.”

Keiley moaned. A second later she cried out around the hard flesh filling her mouth as Mac’s hand landed on her rear.

A second later, it rose between her thighs, a light little tap to her pussy exploding through her senses. Another to her rear. Back between her thighs. Jethro’s hands were tugging at her hair, and Keiley was fighting to keep the pressure on his cock as too many sensations began to invade her body.

She was so wet that the soft slaps to her pussy only heated her further, made her want more. Need more.

“I want her waxed.” Jethro was panting. “Soon, Mac. I want that pussy waxed.”

----

OK, that’s it for me. Happy Wednesday everybody!

26 comments:

Bella said...

Damn! I'll have to look into that ONE!

Can you say, "book club"? (and this ain't Oprah!)

Note: Redhead doesn't scrimp on details either. :)

TK said...

Um.

Right.

I just have one question.

"He tasted like the night." What? What does that taste like? NOT that I'm going to research the question. But... for some reason that stuck out (no pun intended). For some reason, it made me think of 10 Things I Hate About You, when the guidance counselor is writing erotic fiction and can't think of a word for "engorged". The writers must spend hours thinking of different adjectives.

OK, this is too weird. I've officially creeped myself out.

Redhead said...

bella: I aim to please.

tk: Aw, poor baby - have I scared you? As for tasting like the night, yeah - I don't know. That kind of shit is always thrown into these books, so I barely even notice it. Having said that, this author would not feel the need to find a prettier way of saying 'engorged,' she'd just say it.

Bella said...

Exactly. I didn't notice that "night" stuff either. TK, some things you just don't want to 'think' too hard about! haha.

Joseph said...

Anyone else need a cigarette?

Hermano said...

What a fine sexy time for you.

-Holy Trinity
(See: Arrested Development for more info)

Jack Cobra said...

"Warning: Explicit" just took on a whole new meaning today.

I read it all because you write well, but that doesn't mean I had to like the topic....

Garrett Reid said...

Wow - I need a cold shower. I have never seen anything so dirty as this blog post before. And, by the way, "taste like the night" means like day old sweat.

Redhead said...

bella: Boys tend to miss the point in these things. And as I said, I chose one of the most existential (yeah, scary) and tame passages in the book.

joseph: You're welcome.

hermano: LOVE Arrested Development. And yes, it was.

jack: Wuss. I thought you were more of a man and could handle this stuff.

garrett: Ha ha - way to ruin the moment. And if you think that was dirty...

MCBias said...

Yeah, put me in the wuss pile too. It just seems a little too creepy to gather around the old Internet and bring our scraps of prose porn for discussion hour. Obviously, I'm just a random visitor whose opinion isn't worth much, but those are my thoughts. It didn't help that as soon as I read DC in the post, I remembered your story from the last post about your sister from DC. Yuck, that was a weird coincidence/connection to make.

Jack Cobra said...

Here is why I walked away shaking my head....my grandmother used to have books like that laying around her house when I was little. You just enlightened me to what was in those books. I'll never go to her grave site and think of her the same again

Redhead said...

Dude! OK, I get why you may not like the content (although the whole point was just how explicit these books have become - and that was really best shown through an excerpt; you have to admit, I said 'explicit' and 'graphic' but you were probably STILL shocked by the excerpt), but did you have to bring my SISTER INTO THIS?! Low blow, low blow.

Redhead said...

OK, my last comment was for mcbias (jack slipped one in there while I was writing).

jack: The books didn't used to be like this (like during your grandmother's time) - it was more along the 'let's find a euphamism for the word engorged' then. This is a recent development, hence the WHOLE POINT of this post. These books are getting crazy, and the best way to demonstrate this? Yes, it was to actually give you an example and a peek inside the book. The fact that it cracked me up to do so - that was just a bonus.

Jack Cobra said...

She's still alive. She still reads the new books. She just bought an adjoining grave site in town where my grandfather is buried. I prefer to go there and talk to her headstone instead of talking in person because she yells at me for breaking up with my HS girlfriend whenever I see her. Old ladies are crazy.

Redhead said...

Hee hee - she sounds like fun. Old people are the best.

TK said...

I just thought I'd point out the following words from this post and comments today:

fuck

engorged

cock

sister

grandma

threesome

...

You're gonna get some fucked up new google visitors.

Redhead said...

Fuck. I kind of knew that was going to happen when I was writing it, but...fuck.

MCBias said...

Oh, I definitely was warned, and merrily proceeded at my own risk. I take full responsibility. I just was trying to veto the idea of a sex book series before it got off the ground (you mentioned such a possibility in the post).

As for the low blow--I shouldn't have mentioned your sister. I didn't do it to be mean to you, but to try to prove that yes, I was creeped out. Sounds like I did it a little too well, and apologies. For the record, I was disturbed by the connection, not excited. If I had been excited, I wouldn't have mentioned it, ha.

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

i want that pussy waxed???? can you demand that from the husband of his wife?

and the whole tasxted like the night? i don't get it. what does the night taste like? i would think that would depend on what kind of day it was.

i mean if it had been raining all day, it might smell like earth worms that have been washed out of their holes. if he has been cutting the lawn during the day it might taste like freshly cut grass. either way i can't think i would want to be sucking on the knob that taste like either of those nights.

but maybe during the day there was a county fair so he tasted like cotton candy, mini donuts, roasted corn on the cob and beer.

i could totally be into that kind of night taste.

Bruce Paine said...

Redhead, you go to places that people need to go. i think a man can demand that the pussy of his best friends wife be waxed. I don't think a husband can insist to his wife to have her bush waxed. In a relationship where people cooperate, suggestion of preference is better than insistance. What if her bush is an object of personal preference? maybe she maintains it very exactly and is proud of its appearance, maybe she uses it as a statement of principal in that her natural hair color has never betrayed her and never will, maybe its her goddamned business. I, personally, believe that while maintenance is important for everyone's pube health, a bald pussy serves as little enticement. Why would I want to encounter something that resembles a prepubescent piece of jailbait when it is a woman I want? Call me old school, call me a throwback, but don't wax that critter bald.

Redhead said...

mcbias: If that shocked you, then I'm glad I didn't make the excerpt longer - the rest of the scene is NUTS.

But a good point on the regular book review idea (I'd forgotten about that). OK, so that's a strong no from you. Anyone else? I need actual answers here people.

diarrhea of the mouth: I don't think the husband himself can demand it much less his friend (even while he's fucking his wife). My thoughts - this book is in no way based on reality, so...anyting goes.

Oh, and the idea of a donut/beer flavored dick - freaking genius.

bruce: Ah, I can always count on you to get to the heart of the matter. As I said above, no man (husband, friend, ANYONE) can tell a woman what she should do with her body (hair, what to eat, what to wear, etc.). DO NOT TAKE ANY POINTERS FROM THESE FICTIONAL MEN. Having said that, thanks for sharing your preferences with us - totally cracked me up.

TK said...

"DO NOT TAKE ANY POINTERS FROM THESE FICTIONAL MEN"

Aw, crap. No wonder my wife seems so pissed off.

glassyarddog said...

My wife "accidentally" picked up some of these books recently. I happened by and picked one up to start reading it, was stunned, but came up with some good ideas, at least I thought. Unfortunately, my wife also reminded me the stories were "fictional". Back to Penthouse Forum for me, which I love anyway. Who doesn't love the story of the 17 year old pizza delivery dude banging the divorced mother of 3 with 36DD's? HA!

EAT MEAT!

Anonymous said...

dang but you peeps are weird.

Anonymous said...

dang but you peeps are weird.

onthevirg said...

Just...Wow. I go on vacation and suddenly this place has turned into a den of filth. Me likey!